the realness of anxiety

Living with anxiety is not an easy thing to do. It is a daily struggle. Anxiety can make us second guess ourselves. For anyone struggling with anxiety, you know this struggle all too well. It’s not an easy thing to deal with every single day. But how about for those living with someone who has anxiety. This poses new challenges too. For someone who doesn’t have anxiety, it can wear them down when their significant other is constantly worried about different aspects of their life. The person suffering might get mad at their significant other for not being there for them enough. Think about it though too. The other person might be struggling to figure out how to best help them. They may not know what to do for them. It takes a long while to figure out the best ways to deal with anxiety as the sufferer, and as the person watching the person suffering.

What some people suffering from anxiety probably want you to know is that we need people to be there for us. We need reassurance about some or all of our insecurities. Please don’t come down on us like it’s an inconvenience for you to see us or hear us in an anxious state of mind. Don’t get angry at us for our anxiety. Sometimes, you don’t even have to say anything to us to try and fix it for us. Just be there for us and hold us. Sometimes a hug is all we need to be able to push through the anxiety spell. Some days we have to walk away from what we were doing or cancel plans with you. Don’t take it personally. Don’t think we are avoiding you. Sometimes anxiety takes a toll on us for longer periods of time.

We want them to remember that an anxiety spell or an anxiety attack can come at any time or anywhere. If you see us not talking to you or spacing out in the middle of a social situation, then ask us if we are doing ok. If we say no or shake our head no, then, by all means, get us away from the crowd or wherever we might be. Get us outside to catch our breath. Give us a hug and remind us to focus on the good things of the day instead of focusing on the anxiety attack itself.

Reminding us to focus on anything but the anxiety is a great way to distract us and to make it disappear faster. If we are at home when an anxiety spell or anxiety attack occurs, just hold our hand or hold us in your arms without saying anything. If we don’t want to talk about what is giving us anxiety, then respect that. Don’t keep pressuring us to tell you exactly what’s wrong. That only causes us to shut down and not want to talk about the anxiety attack in the first place. Sometimes we don’t always want to voice exactly what’s causing our hearts to race, while other days we actually can’t put into words how we feel because the anxiety is so great within us. Other days we will want to talk openly about our anxiety.

Pray for us and with us when you know we’re in the middle of an anxiety attack. Sometimes prayer is the exact medicine that is needed at that moment. Prayer can be and is the greatest weapon against anxiety, but sometimes our minds are so clouded over that there is no way we can think clearly. We need you to help take the first step and just pray a simple prayer for us and over us and especially with us if we don’t know where to start.

Remind us that everything is ok and help us see the good things in our lives instead of focusing on the anxiety. Sometimes we just need a gentle push back to reality. After all, anxiety causes us to think irrational thoughts at times and causes us to think our worst fears are coming true. Remind us that everything is okay and that we are safe. If we need to cuddle, then just cuddle with us. Just be there and help us feel better. You don’t even have to say anything. Just being there for us is more than enough.

Remind us of everything good that we have been able to accomplish. Remind us not to focus on the bad. Remind us that no matter how bad the anxiety feels, that you will be there with us. Remind us that God is with us too. It might seem like we’re asking a lot, but any of these things will help us get through our anxiety easier.

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