My frozen heart
My frozen heart

In a funk, I picked up O Magazine.

Inside Oprah interviewed Dr. Brené Brown, Houston sociologist famous for her research on shame and vulnerability.

I had viewed her TED talks. Even read Dr. Brown’s latest book, Daring Greatly. I knew the interview would be awesome: two bright women discussing threats to our relationships and well being. And what to do about it.

But Dr. Brown’s call to be daring and wholehearted bounced off my frozen heart. I was swimming in fear. My father might be dying. There were other family problems. My work felt…stupid. Self-doubt dripped off me.

I set the magazine aside.

After two days of being stuck in a dark place, I address God with humble desperation: “God I so need to get back to trusting you. Back to being your child. Help me!”

I feel my heart soften, open up.

I’m drawn back to the interview and this time read Oprah’s words:

When people say,“Why does God allow bad things to happen?” I always say, “You know, God is available to us. He’s here all the time, waiting on you.” People don’t suffer because of God. People suffer because of people. Because we don’t allow the spirit to flow through us.

Yes.

I’m God’s creation.

I’m don’t have the burden of being in charge. I get to go out and play.

I can have fun, create, be open, and love freely.

I can delight in myself, people and the whole wide world.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! I John 3:3 (NIV)

Something wonderful could happen today.

 Today.

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My ebook, “Blossom You,” is here (free).

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photo credit: Letting Go of Control (creative commons)

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