Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology fyre festivalLike many a Pisces, singer songwriter and actor Ja Rule (born February 29 1976, time unknown, Queens New York) is a dreamer. With Sun and Moon in Pisces, both square his natal Neptune, what else would you expect? So naturally, he dreamed of founding the world’s greatest music festival… at least, “greatest” in the sense of “most expensive and inaccessible.” Fyre Festival was supposed to be two consecutive weekends on a privately-owned island in the Bahamas, accessible only by private aircraft (or yacht, if you’ve got a yacht).

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? I mean, any music festival that costs between $4000 and $250,000 to attend (based on the size of the package you bought) featuring Blink-182 and a dozen or so acts you or I have never heard of (cutting-edge!) has to be great, right?

Fyre Festival had everything… except, it seems, an astrologer telling Ja Rule he was having spectacularly bad transits and should postpone the festival indefinitely. You see, Ja Rule is having his Neptune Square (transiting Neptune conjunct his Sun and Moon and square Neptune’s natal position in the birth chart), his exact Saturn quincunx (which often gets overlooked but can come to the forefront when other things are going astray), and transiting Uranus conjunct his Jupiter (“strange luck”).

Oh, and yeah: Mercury Retrograde.

The quotes promoting Fyre Festival below were taken from the event’s web site, which was a collection of superlatives, promises of high-end living at its finest, and images of happy, fashionably young and good-looking Caucasians frolicking on the beach. That is, until the entire site was replaced with a lengthy one-page apology.

The Hype:

Kickoff BBQ
“Each Thursday evening at Fyre Festival you can join our FyreStarters for a beachside kick-off BBQ. Enjoy a stunning sunset, a Bahamian menu and champagne toast to celebrate the weekend to come.”

The Reality:
Cheese sandwiches served in styrofoam containers.

The Hype:

VIP Main Stage Tables
“Watch Fyre Festival main stage performances in style with a VIP table. You’ll be in very good company.”

The Reality:
Blink-182 cancelled early because of a complete lack of proper facilities. As for “good company”? Since most of the connecting flights out were mysteriously cancelled, lots of attendees were stranded together, “Lord Of The Flies” style, without anything like electricity or indoor plumbing to distract them.

The Hype:
“Fyre Festival is a departure from the familiar. Held on a remote island with an infamous history, the wild landscape and turquoise waters invite you to explore, disconnect, and plug-in with the likeminded.”

The Reality:
The site claimed the island was formerly owned by Pablo Escobar. In fact, it was the site of a proposed (but failed) Sandals resort. Well, I guess they got the “infamous” part right.

The Hype:
“You will be placed in a well-appointed house or resort. This package is available in 1-3 bedroom configurations for 2-8 guests. Due to limited housing available on the island, the villa is expected to sell out soon.”

The Reality:
FEMA-style emergency tents.

The Hype:
“Fyre Festival is a departure from the familiar.”

The Reality:
Most of the attendees were probably unfamiliar with the concept of “feral dogs,” which allegedly roamed the site at will, possibly in search of cheese sandwiches.

The Hype:

fyre festival


The Reality:

fyre festival 2

source: instagram

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