Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars


What Is Mercury Retrograde, And How Can I Profit From It?

posted by Matthew Currie
mercury retrograde beliefnet astrology matthew currie

No hidden service charges HERE!

“Elevators keep crashing. Is Mercury in retrograde or what?” 

“Elevators can be capricious. Sometimes it just seems like they’re out to get you….”

-House, MD

If you’ve spent any length of time around astrologers, you’ve likely learned that astrologers love to blame things going wrong on “Mercury Retrograde.” But what exactly is Mercury Retrograde, what can you do about it, and most importantly, how can you derive maximum profit from it?

WHAT IS MERCURY RETROGRADE?

All the planets in the Solar System travel around the Sun in nice regular round orbits. They never actually stop and back up or decide to go the other way. But from our perspective on Earth, sometimes it looks like they do.

Imagine you’re driving down the middle of a circular multi-lane highway, perpetually orbiting a central point. Your car is Earth. The other cars on this same highway are all traveling in different lanes and at different speeds . Although those cars don’t ever stop or back up (and neither does yours), sometimes you will pass one and (from your perspective) that car will appear to slow down and go backwards past you. From our perspective on Earth, looking up at the other planets, they sometimes appear to slow down and turn backwards for a while, then they slow down again, go forward, and pick up speed. That is what we call “retrograde motion.”

WHY IS MERCURY RETROGRADE SUCH A BIG DEAL?

Mercury rules things like communications, short trips, and commerce. When Mercury is retrograde, those things have a higher-than-average tendency to go haywire. Phone calls get dropped more, agreements made during that time are more likely to backfire, and line-ups at airport security and Customer Service desks tend to be more annoying. Since Mercury rules all these important things, and it goes retrograde three or four times a year, it tends to get a lot of attention.

WHEN IS THIS HAPPENING NEXT?

This time: from Monday, October 21st to Sunday, November 10th.

WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP THIS?

Not a thing. Astrologers spend a lot of time talking about how astrology isn’t “fatalistic,” and they have a point… but go ahead, show me how all your positive affirmations and “creating your own reality” business can actually, literally move a planet in its orbit. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

SO ARE ALL MY PHONE CALLS, E-MAILS, CONTRACTS, BUSINESS DEALS AND SHORT TRIPS DOOMED?

Not at all. Those things can sometimes go wobbly even when Mercury isn’t retrograde. Just remember that Mercury retrograde won’t really louse anything up big-time unless there are other transits happening for you that indicate it was going to happen anyway.

YOU SAID I COULD PROFIT FROM MERCURY RETROGRADE. HOW?

Mercury Retrograde is an excellent time for introspection. Don’t dash off an angry e-mail to your ex… think about why your ex is making you angry in the first place, and how you can deal with that anger in a more constructive way. Contemplate the potential pitfalls of that contract before you sign it. Check your tires and fuel before you drive across town. Arrive at Airport Security early, and ask yourself if you really need to pack that novelty cigarette lighter shaped like a semiautomatic pistol. Think carefully, and plan ahead!

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT “PROFIT” AS IN “MAKE MONEY”…?

Probably not. After all, Mercury Retrograde is a rough time for trade and commerce. Ask any astrologer who’s tried to make a fortune from writing about “Mercury Retrograde,” for example. Also, according to “Elements Of Style,” that’s a poor use of a question mark you just made there. You should also proofread things more clearly during a Mercury Retrograde.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I NEED TO KNOW?

Plenty, but there’s no time to discuss it now. I have to make a phone call about a business agreement with my angry ex, who wants me to import novelty ashtrays that look like hand grenades, and I need to get it done before Mercury goes retrograde… otherwise, it might turn out to be a bad idea.

 

 



Previous Posts

Career Astrology Part One: The Midheaven
(Looking for a fun and easy way to learn what Astrology can REALLY do for you? CLICK HERE for details. Classes starting soon!) As a counseling astrologer, I spent a lot of time working with people discussing (among other things) their career options. Often the issues facing people are not simply a

posted 9:16:25pm Jul. 29, 2014 | read full post »

Weekly Horoscope, July 28-August 3, 2014 (Plus Space Explosions!)
(Looking for a fun and easy way to learn what Astrology can REALLY do for you? CLICK HERE for details. Classes starting soon!) Sure, you'll be feeling nice and energetic for a while after Sunday's New Moon in Leo. With luck and a little planning, you had the time to sit down and tell the Universe

posted 5:07:50pm Jul. 27, 2014 | read full post »

Learn Astrology, Save Money, Change Your Life!
Have you ever wanted to learn more about how astrology really works, but got bogged down in all those books and words? Would you like to learn astrology under the guidance of someone who actually does it for a living... in a fun and easy format that works with your schedule? Let me introduce you

posted 3:11:58pm Jul. 26, 2014 | read full post »

Kim Jong-un Ruins Capricorn For Everyone
No matter how you slice the demographic pie, there’s always that one guy who makes everyone else in his group look bad. Over the years I have known many kind and caring and decent Capricorns. On a bad day, they have a reputation for being a bit stiff, and maybe a little too likely to take th

posted 3:22:17am Jul. 24, 2014 | read full post »

I Watched Them Kill Eric Garner
First of all, to my regular readers: there will be precious little astrology in this blog entry. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming next time. To everyone else: welcome. My name is Matthew. I am a writer and an astrological counselor. It is my job to (among other things) help p

posted 10:04:50pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.