Fact: women judge you based on what’s on top of your head. They just do. So avoid these haircuts. Because women hate them. That’s right, these are the 16 most-despised men’s hairstyles, according to the prominent hairstylists and fashion bloggers we polled. Yes, cornrows made the list. So if you’ve got ’em, sit tight: we’ll be back soon with 21 hairstyles women love.

The Combover “Who are you fooling when your part is down by your ear?! This is the worst style I could ever think of on a man. Clip it short and don’t worry about windy days ever again!” —Amanda Shackleton, hairstylist for guys like Javier Bardem and Pierce Brosnan

The Ponytail “It’s usually worn by guys with little or no hair, and even when it’s not, it’s always a no.” —Amy Komorowski, men’s celebrity hairstylist and grooming expert for AXE Hair

The Faux-Hawk “It’s been overdone and doesn’t look good on most people.” —Jovan Vitagliano of La Voila Beauty, Emmy-winning hair and makeup stylist (SNL, The Adjustment Bureau)

The Marine “Save it for Fort Bragg.” —Liz Finkelstein, style consultant at Mile High Style

The Bowl Cut “This haircut suggests the guy is too cheap to go to a professional, so he cuts his own hair using a bowl. If he can’t spring for a $20 haircut, where will he take a woman on a date? I hear the McDonald’s jingle.” —Kim Turner, fashion blogger at Fashion Cents

Frosted Tips “Highlighted spikes on the top of your head scream, ‘I have too much time on my hands!’ Plus, no woman wants to imagine any guy sitting in a salon wearing a cape and a head full of hair foils.” —Lena Sutherland, co-host, While the Men Watch

Cornrows “Not to be stereotypical, but I have yet to meet a man in cornrows who didn’t have aspirations to become a rap star. Seriously, I lived a few months in the Bronx, met dozens of guys in cornrows, and all of them attempted to sell me their mix CD, with photos of half-naked hood rats on the cover. Fastest way to lose my attention: look anything like R. Kelly or Ed Norton in Stone.” —Beca Alexander, style blogger at Fashion Indie

The Shoe Polisher “This guy is still trying to hold onto his hair, so he covers the bald spot with what appears to be shoe polish, or hair in a can. This is a scary proposition for any woman out on a date with this dude because she never knows when it’s going to run. He might get a date or two in the winter, but come summertime… no luck.” —Turner

Rock-Hard Hair “Newsflash: women love to touch your hair. Don’t let our fingers—or our jewelry—get stuck in there, please. And FYI, most women will bolt at the sight of white ‘gel flakes’ in your helmet head.” —Sutherland

The Too-Messy Look “We hate uncombed hair. There is a messy look, then there is just uncombed hair. Yuck.” —Nisonja McGary, stylist for guys like Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise

The In-Between “When it’s too short to be long and too long to be short, so the guy has to use a hair accessory to keep it in place. A man’s hair should hold its own, without a headband or an annoying hand flipping it back every minute.” —Sutherland

The Retro Bieber “Any version of the forward-brushed Caesar or the old-school Bieber look is just outdated. Women are turned off by too much hair touching your forehead, not to mention how it looks when you sweat.” —Sutherland

Spiked Hair “No one wants to run their hands through Sonic the Hedgehog. Spiked hair is so disturbing and makes me think that the person was recently electroshocked or secretly worships Sid Vicious. To add insult to injury, dying it bleach blond doesn’t help. Can someone let that fat sweaty dude from all those food shows know?” — Sutherland

The Clip Art “Please don’t decorate yourself with shaved-in lines or designs. Even if your team is in the playoffs, women don’t want to see a logo on the back of your head. Ditto for the eyebrows and beard.” —Sutherland

The Mullet “The mullet needs to go, and never come back! It is not a flattering look on anyone. Even Jon Bon Jovi couldn’t pull it off!” —Samantha Gow, stylist at Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men

Trump’s Hair “I don’t know if this is considered a comb-over, but it’s pretty much the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen on TV, and I’m a proud Walking Dead-head, so that’s saying a lot. The color of it must be caused by an overzealous spray tanner trying to give a lift to the mysterious puff growing atop Trump, and the style reminds me of what happens when you try to dry your hair under one of those industrial hand washers. Just all around bad.” —Alexander


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