The V questions have started pouring in. They usually come in two forms:

“What should me and my man do for V Day?”


I’m single. Valentines Day hurts my heart. Help.”

This piece is dedicated to those seeking some thoughts on the latter. As for those seeking help with the former – the answer is simple: candlelit restaurant, new underwear, sex.

Maybe this is a gender thing, but I always found it very easy, when single, to totally skip Valentines Day. It’s such a made up “thing.”

I suppose all things on our calendar are made up “things” we buy into — birthdays, July 4th, Thanksgiving, but some thing’s are so purely manufactured and thrust upon us by Hallmark and the powers that be, that sometimes it’s OK to say, “Wait a minute, I have a choice here. No thanks, Valentines Day 2020. I’m not playing this year. See ya next year, if I choose.”

Because for all the sappy commercials and heart shaped candy out there, think about it like this, you’re either with someone or you’re not. February 14th is not relevant.  It’s an arbitrary day “we” say, “Stop what you’re doing and show us your dating card.” Now I get it, when everyone is wrapped up in the red balloons, white kitty cats and swanky restaurant reservations it’s easy to feel like a lonely Shrek cooped up in your attic. But Don’t.

One questioner asked me how to celebrate herself on this day and I think she’s pretty spot on with the sentiment. And don’t celebrate you to defend yourself against Feb. 14th or validate yourself in the shadow of Feb 14th. Do it because you should celebrate you every day, single or not.

I don’t know specifically what makes you smile and purr, or laugh and breathe deep with joy, but do that which does. Pick up a Book. Take a bath. Go to a yoga class or a movie with the fam. Masturbate in your favorite pajamas. Write a short story.  Read a short story. Go to a comedy club. Volunteer. Bake. Veg out. Go to the Gym. Go to bed early.

AND, tell us what you decide …

Though who knows, single women, you’ve got nearly two weeks between now and then. Stuff happens…All Year-Round.

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