Our society is hell bent on trying to figure out what can we do to our self to attract the kind of person that we want to attract. Cosmetic industries, the fitness industry, plastic surgery, which all have many spin-off products are built on this very question. As a society we place a high value on our outward appearance and the biggest reason that we do is because we have come to believe that the way we look dictates whom we will attract into our life as possible mates.

If you were an alien who just arrived on this planet for a visit and observed our obsession with our physical appearance and the millions of dollars that we spend to change, improve and maintain our outward appearance you would simply shake your head in amazement.

The funny thing is, that with this obsession toward our outward appearance, we as a society don’t seem any better equipped to attract the people into our life whom we desire to attract! So, what gives?

Is it not about physical attraction? Is physical attraction overstated and overrated? If physical attraction is not the key to attracting the person we desire then what is?

Truth is physical attraction often does play a part at the on-set of attraction, however there is much more to attraction isn’t there. How many times have we observed someone to be outwardly attractive to find out within seconds of opening their mouth that they were indeed not very attractive at all? Vise Versa, how many times have we met someone and after being around them for a while we discover that there is a physical attraction that we didn’t notice at first? This happens all of the time. Why?

At the end of the day we are attracted to people who are confident in who they are, who carry themselves well, who seem to be in touch with themselves, who display traits that we find attractive, such as kindness to children and animals, kindness to their fellow man, etc.  Want to get to know someone, watch how they treat the wait staff at a restaurant or any other service-oriented people.

We are most attractive when we are comfortable with ourselves. We are most attractive when we show interest in others, we are most attractive when we sincerely care. We are most attractive when we emit the positive energy of the love that is within us.

You can work on your physical appearance all day long and you can have the look that society states is the look to have, however if you are an internal mess then you will not have the attractiveness to attract the person whom you seek. If you do attract someone solely on your outward appearance, you will most likely find the relationship to be shallow and frustrating.

I believe that we should care about our outward appearance, notice I said we should care, not obsess, there is a huge difference.

To be attractive, to attract the person whom we desire to attract we must be comfortable, confident and full of love and be open to all possibilities.

Note, many people who are dating or seeking a mate will dismiss possible people from their dating circle simply because they are not their physical type. You know how this goes, people often say, well he/she is not my type. My type is … and they will give a list of rules, which are usually physical requirements, for example, must be at least 2 inches taller or shorter, must be blonde or brunette, etc. This is very limiting thinking, we must be willing to be open up to the possibilities which go beyond physical attributes. When you do, you may be surprised whom you attract.

Think about someone who you once found very attractive and then after you got to know them, maybe even years after you been with them, all of a sudden you begin to find them not so attractive, yet their physical appearance has not really changed much. What happened, why are you no longer attracted to this person who you once could not keep your mind or hand off of? The only thing, which has changed, is your thoughts of this person. Your perspective has changed, not his/her appearance. They still look the same as they did before, you simply are seeing them from a different perspective. See, it is all about your thoughts!

Attraction is thought, as is everything. Attraction and having people attracted to you is a product of your thoughts. Our thoughts are the most attractive thing that we have. Want to be attractive, think attractive!


More from Beliefnet and our partners
previous posts