Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

Surprisingly, we often put up with behaviors we should walk away from.

Why?

Emotional attachments are hard to break.

Therefore, what we should be doing is walking away when we initially recognize unfavorable characteristics in another person.

This doesn’t just pertain to romantic relationships. All good relationships should have core fundamentals which provide for a healthy foundation. Friendships should be held to the same value standards if we want to be treated well and treat others well.

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The problem? 

The heart likes to make excuses for those we love.

We shouldn’t let it.

Especially since many of the actions we tolerate are surprisingly bad behavior. 

6 Relationship Behaviors to Avoid

People Who Talk About Their Friends

We are human so people will speak about one another to a certain degree. 

Especially with old or close friendships where there will be times of worry or concern where one friend may confide in another. There will also inevitably be moments of weakness during a conflict.

But this should be kept to a minimum.

However, there are certain things no one should ever know about another person. When a friend divulges private concerns or secrets they should stay just that. And there’s a difference between confiding in a few friends who have become like family and letting the general public hear you speak about a friend.

On the romantic side of relationships when things are breaking down it is common to speak about a partner. This should be a signal it’s either time to get counseling or move on.

People Who Lie

Lying is just not okay.

It is a supremely selfish behavior.

An individual lies to get their own way or to get away with something. Either way, it’s not a favorable quality. No, we are not talking about a little white lie to save someone’s feelings from being hurt when not included to a party. Nor are we talking about the little white lie where life may be overwhelming and thus an event can’t be made.

We are talking about self-serving lies. 

If someone routinely lies about little or large things the biggest reason to jump ship is they have demonstrated an ability to put themselves first.

Be it a friendship or romantic liaison this type of person will be unpredictable and worse you can’t entirely trust them. And this includes smaller lies such as canceling plans to do something else with another friend who has presented a better offer. Not just huge relationship cheating type lies.

In other words, people who tell little lies are capable of telling big lies.

People Who Judge

Bottom line?

We should feel great about ourselves in the company of a friend or partner.

People who routinely judge our actions personality need to be filtered out of our lives.

They don’t really like who we are anyway. If they did they wouldn’t consume so much time telling us what we did wrong and what is wrong with our personality. They have an ego which won’t allow them to see others for who they truly are.

The resounding message sent by people who judge?

“I love you, but I don’t like you.”

It’s important for self-preservation, not just the relationship to get away from individuals who routinely judge us.

People You Can’t Count On

We all know the people who consistently have the ability to be there for us.

Those are the individuals to focus on.

Not the ones who routinely forget to call back, cancel plans or a spouse who is constantly too busy at work to set aside a few minutes to call and check in.

Everyone will have difficult times in life. 

Therefore, there will be even the most reliable people who may be temporarily less reliable because of an aging parent, marital problems, job stress, etc. And that should come with a hall pass. In times of duress, individuals should put their own families first. It’s the healthiest thing to do.

But if we have a friend or spouse whose world revolves without us – let go.

People Who Cause Stress in Your Life

If a friend or spouse consistently gets mad or levies undue demands it’s time to either resolve it or move on.

Simply put we are all children of God and no one has the right to control us to the level it causes tremendous anxiety or stress in our lives.

It’s that simple.

It’s control and not healthy.

People Who Disregard Your Feelings

All people have emotions and a right to own those emotions.

It’s not okay to be talked out of how we are feeling.

In fact, to exercise those feelings and move on they often need to be acknowledged and heard. This is hard in relationships because some individuals are fixers and the impulse is to immediately fix a problem rather than just listen. Additionally, some relationships involve one or both individuals who are disrespectful communicators and won’t ‘allow’ the other person their emotions.

Instead, they might say it’s silly or stupid or some other type of dismissive comment.

Be it romantic or friendship it’s far too frustrating to remain in these types of relationships.

People Who Manipulate You

Some individuals are extremely good at getting what they want.

And manipulative personalities can make it happen before we ever knew what hit us.

Especially if we are people pleasers or fixers or rescuers.

They throw their problems out in the air and wait for them to be fixed. A manipulative person will take gross advantage. Additionally, those instincts to get what they want show they put themselves first when they want something.

Aka, essentially a spoiled individual.

It’s difficult to have a healthy two way romance or friendship with an overindulged person.

 

It’s time to rethink putting up with any of these types of surprisingly common yet bad behaviors.

Especially if they are the rule and not the exception. 

It’s not uncommon to tolerate some of these traits.

And sadly, they often consume the majority of our time rather than the healthier and better relationships in our lives.

Those are the ones to focus on.

 

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist

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E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com

 

 

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