How Great Thou Part

My friend just filed for divorce. She said she wanted to march in there with grace, you know…head held high, composure in check, tears tucked safely behind the dam.

Didn’t happen.

The dam opened, tears gushed through and grace turned into a ‘puddle.’

I remember many years ago when I first decided to get a divorce. No, not this recent three-year excursion. I actually attempted to leave before this. I chose an attorney and made an appointment. I was also ‘grace determined.’ After all, I was strong. I had made this appointment to begin with, right?

Nope. The high-powered attorney walked into the room, asked me the first question and you guessed it. The first answer was accompanied by an ’emotional flood.’ Crying is acceptable in a divorce attorney’s office, correct? I mean doesn’t it kinda ‘go with the territory?’

And there does seem to be a significant Kleenex investment office-wide – Someone’s gotta use em.

So I help myself. I snatch the white tissue to drain the flood and muffle my emotion.

“I see women like you all the time,” says the attorney as she shakes her head at me. “What are you women thinking allowing yourselves to become so vulnerable, giving up jobs to stay home, etc.”

You think this shock would absorb some of my tears, but no matter they arrogantly continue to fall from my eyes.

“I know,” I respond. “I’ve put myself in a horrible position.”

“Look,” she says. “I see a lot of women who are worse. At least you are confident!”

Confident???? I mutter internally to myself. She actually thinks I am confident??!!

I make my way to my car still bewildered that the graceless –

emotional artifact-stuffed –
to the brim with sniffling Kleenex –
‘woman-girl’ before her –
is somehow still identifiable as confident?!

I attempt to sit up straighter in my car. After all, she sees something in me that thus far, I believe has evaporated with marital malaise.

Different attorneys bring different bedside manners.

Different divorcing individuals bring the same tears.

The Kleenex, well, it’s pretty consistent. It has to be – because…

Doesn’t everyone cry in their divorce attorneys office????

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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