I am on the baseball field. I stand on the pitchers mound and throw the ball. I run to bat and then to first base. I catch the ball in the outfield and run and tag myself at second base.

Do you get where I am going with this?

If you are in a relationship and playing all the players positions then perhaps maybe you have never really been in a relationship at all.

How I wish I had known this.

I couldn’t possibly be pitcher, batter, outfielder and more.

You get the point – or at least I hope you are following me.

I had to spend a lot of time overcompensating because I was the only one showing up to the game from my team. We couldn’t win because there was zero balance. One person was trying to do it all.

Are you immensely overwhelmed in your relationship because you are playing too many positions? Has this caused you to lose sight of yourself because you are spread so thin that you are no longer playing any of them well?

6 Signals to identify that your relationship is out of balance?

You are spending a tremendous amount of time solving your significant other’s problems.

You are gaining weight, losing energy, interest in things you love, or other things that identify a departure in who you typically are.

The behavior of your spouse is so consuming that it is taking the focus off of your children and yourself.

You are remaining self-responsible while the person you are married to is not; both adults in a relationship need to be self-responsible.

The entire household now revolves around the behavior or interests of your significant other; meaning around one individual and not the whole family.

You are the only one in the relationship working on both the relationship and the family.

You can’t play a baseball game all by yourself. Everyone has to play their position. Everyone has to be not just a member of a team, but have a team mentality.

If your relationship is unbalanced, stop believing that you are “taking one for the team.” You’re really just ending up ‘benching’ yourself in the game of life.

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Sheehy Orme
on Twitter @colleenorme
on Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com

More from Beliefnet and our partners