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Love between people – is there a twin flame and a soulmate?

What are the differences between a soul mate and a twin flame?

These are common questions and frequently misunderstood. Worse still I’ve heard of people changing their behaviour in order to seek out one or the other, or convince themselves that somebody they know is one or the other. I once had a friend I studied with who became convinced I was her twin flame, even though we weren’t in a relationship, and I didn’t feel the same way about her.

I am concerned at the amount of speculation that goes on and the consequences of it. People are suffering for their theories or what other people are telling them.

Please be careful, if you are reading this. Nobody’s opinion of your love status or lack thereof should replace qualified professional advice.

Some fundamental understandings are important in a discussion about love:

Everyone has a soul.

In Buddhist theology, we understand that reincarnation is inevitable unless and until our soul achieves a very high level of insight and wisdom. When people talk about soulmates or twinflames, usually they are confused. These concepts are not based on empirical evidence. They are based on sentimentality.

This said (and warnings reiterated) – there are souls we are closer to. And those souls one could consider one’s soulmates. In fact a mate is a friend. On a soul level, we group into souls. Like a soul family. Members of this family may choose to incarnate together for the purposes of soul growth. Also a discarnate entity like a spirit guide may choose to incarnate close to us in order to help us along our soul progression.
Usually one may incarnate with souls that are familiar due to working out karma from previous incarnations. These are not what is meant by soulmates – in a romantic sense – these are souls that we choose to work with.

On another higher level – every soul and all beings are our mates. A soul is our spiritual link to eternity, Oneness (Creator God). Even the worst person still has something sacred within them. That is the part of them that wishes to do acts of God, to embody the holy spirit in human form. Even the cruellest person is capable of kindness.

Every soul can be incarnated in animal (or even non-animal form), even a rock contains consciousness and a soul could choose to navigate within that sphere. This is why the Buddha taught a very important principle of kindness to all living beings. Even animals. We should also be kind to discarnate beings as they may have lived previously or will live in the future in another body.

Romantic fantasies aside, all relationships require hard work. At a soul level, there are no accidents in real connections and shared lives, yet free will choice remains a constant and of paramount importance. One can always create a new connection and forge a new soulmate relationship.

Romantic illusions of love to the moon (with singing nightingales) is unrealistic. Every soul (by nature of being incarnated) has work to do. A real love relationship is based on mutual respect and support, and results in real growth.

With love,


Featured Image via: PixaBay

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