God's Comic

Being married 18 years I am shocked and amazed that I have lasted this long as a human without having a wife. Being married to a woman teaches you just how much you don’t know about life, living and survival in the real world. If you don’t believe me, just ask her. Actually that is the first thing a woman teaches you, you can’t go on any longer under the delusion that survival is possible without her insight.
There are things I never knew about myself that are now crystal clear. For example before I got married I actually had the audacity to believe that I knew how to drive. I was kidding myself. I never realized that all cars come with brakes. Oh sure I utilized them periodically but I never realized how often I needed them.
Thanks be to God now that my wife sits next to me in the car she can demonstrate by using her phantom brake whenever we are in danger to model for me when I should be using mine. I just keep one eye on the road and one her floorboard and she lets me know for example that we are approaching a red light and cars are already there! Who knew to look for that!
I can’t begin to detail how many cars I thoughtlessly plowed into until my wife made me painfully aware that I should have started braking hundreds of feet earlier. The fact that she drives exactly like me when she is at the wheel is not hypocrisy as much as the fact that she can handle these situations whereas I can’t.
I never realized as well that a light turning yellow that I actually could have made is going to change to red sooner than I anticipate and thank goodness she was there to inform me. I was carelessly lost in my own thoughts of driving and paying attention to the road and so her phantom braking, pointing and startled vocal expressions snap me back to reality by frightening me into defensiveness I never realized I needed until she made me aware.
The fact that her outbursts almost always cause a wreck on my part is proof positive that I need to be on my toes when apparently even with cars 100 yards away it is never to early to panic.
Remember, to a Christian woman honoring your husband is Gods command and nothing honors him more than pointing out his self-deluded idea that he is competent. Heck I wasn’t even able to dress myself before my wife came along. Who knows what shame I must have brought on myself for years by buying my own clothes based on my “taste”.
Yes in the Garden of Eden, even though God made man first, He obviously realized that unless a woman was created we would just continue to walk around nude since we would never have to worry about everything “matching”.
Yes we men should be thanking God daily for the blessing of the wives in our lives and never take them for granted because they obviously never needed us and would probably be much better off without us. Other then the fact that they would be unable to move the furniture when it came to spring-cleaning.

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