God's Comic

Heard a guy whistling at the airport the other day.
Americans used to whistle a lot more especially in movies. Humphrey Bogart,
Jimmy Cagney, Jimmy Stewart were all whistlers and it even seemed particularly masculine.

I don’t know when whistling stopped or why. Was it custom
that died out because others grew annoyed at the whistle guy and punched him
periodically, or was it because of something much more sinister? Remember, in
the world of PC-eople they must always find “oppressors” so they have an enemy
to, well, oppress!

It’s easy and it works like this.

“What evil syndicate do you suppose would have cause to be behind the prejudice of
whistle censoring? …Oh I think I know and if you take a moment it becomes
fairly obvious….Ready?…BATTERY MANUFACTURES!!!

Before I-pods and portable cd players were invented we HAD
to whistle more because these battery
devices made it obsolete to have to entertain ourselves!

Whistling was the earliest form of music download since you
could whistle any song you wanted in any order, at any time. You didn’t have to
pay royalties for it and you never needed batteries!

Who’s to say the battery people powers that be, in their
unrestrained lust for profits and likewise fearing the loss of their market
share monopoly subversively instituted this “it’s weird to whistle, “environment
we now find ourselves trapped in.

Whistling is Gods gift to us. We learned it from the birds.
They whistle every morning and we love listening to it.  It’s a soothing natural sound.

Birds are proud to whistle and do it every day despite the
fact that they have to whistle under the
tremendous handicap of not having
Birds instead have these big hard unforgiving castanet’s that have to pass for
lips and they whistle anyways,
unashamed and undaunted.

Not humans. Now we’ve decided that if something is going to
take a little effort to become proficient maybe we should just go ahead and
invent a machine to do it for us. Stinking battery people and their lust for

 The best thing
about whistling was it was something you could do even if you couldn’t sing! Heck
Andy Griffith even made it his theme song. Yes it was a much more innocent age
before the battery people decided to instigate their Orwellian ways.

 I suppose they
thought we were too stupid to catch onto their little game? What with all the
different size batteries, some cylinder shaped while others conveniently come
in the shape of a rectangle just so we didn’t get any crazy ideas of one size
fits all thus instituting the necessity of us having to buy every conceivable
battery shape they could throw at us!

It’s time for open-minded tolerant people to unite and break
the back of these ruthless tyrants to prove we are slaves to no one but our
ideology! This will be our legacy to humanity that we for one will not be tied
down to technology but will instead honor our uniqueness by whistling whenever
the mood hits and let I-pods and other mechanical beasts be damned!

We are autonomous and plan to stay that way!!! See how easy
it is to become a PC Marxist? I have more but I must run, the battery in my
computer is dying.

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