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9:41: Hey, good news! Apparently it’s not just British women who can carry off great hats. Carrie from Ohio has a little red top hat. Ohio women like me have all been rehabilitated. Everyone, drink your tea.
9:47: Aaaaaaaw, it’s Elton John. Barbara reminds us that he sang that incredible song at Diana’s funeral. OK, now I am feeling sad. Diana is not here to see her son get married. It’s hard to remember that this is a family wedding, not just a state occasion.
9:48: Resume sarcasm after tender moment….Last night was Kate’s last night as a commoner! Yes, I think we heard that. More tea. Plus this discussion of Kate’s last night gives us a chance to discuss Diana’s last night before her wedding, which means . . . more tea.
9:49: Here’s someone who was also at Princess Di’s wedding! More tea.
9:51: I think I need the loo from all this tea.
9:56: The prime minister of Australia has a fantastic hat. Stylish but politically dignified. Take that, Brits.
10:02: Barbara says that the queen is getting ready to put on her hat. I guess she’s done that so many thousands of times that she only needs an hour.
10:03: It seems that Kate’s wedding dress is Britain’s best-kept state secret ever. MI-5, take note.
10:04: Scandal! PM’s wife arrives with no hat. Must discuss.
10:06: Still discussing missing hat: brazen feminist statement or fashion faux pas?
10:09: Guests who have been forbidden from tweeting from Westminster Abbey amuse themselves the old fashioned way, by re-reading their programs and watching each other. No, wait. Not being able to tweet was a false alarm. They can tweet, but appear to be choosing not to.
10:12: A car! A car! The redcoats are coming.
10:13: Just spilled scalding tea on myself. Penance for hat criticisms.
10:19: The last time William and Harry were seen together at Westminster Abbey was when they trailed Diana’s coffin, heads down. Very sad. I think I understand a little better now why I am still watching. This is not just a wedding or an excuse to critique the fashion parade; it is a celebration of survival after tragedy.
10:24: Prince Albert is also marrying a commoner! Marrying commoners is all the rage these days. Take a sip.
10:26: Getting hungry now. Daughter’s Easter candy is temptingly close.
10:28: Kate will be the first queen with a university education? Seriously? Oh, and we’re back to the fact that Kate invited her hometown butcher, baker, and candlestick maker, and that she comes from an upstart family that came up from poverty. No wonder I like her.
10:32: Really, that’s Kate’s mom? She looks 35.
10:33: I wonder if this is the first royal wedding where a woman was among the team of priests. See her there, dwarfed by the archbishop’s impressive mitre? (That may be the best hat du jour, BTW.)
10:35: Time to make eggs. Maybe in honor of the Brits I will have baked beans with them. Back in a mo.