William will be 5 years old this Sunday, September 11. We rejoice! Here is a poem I wrote some time ago. Happy Birthday, son. William’s Storm… Barely above a pound jettisoned into life Peeking through gauze Poked, prodded, stuck and skewered Surrounded by white coats, bright lights, beeps and bottles hanging on poles. Home […]
One of the biggest desires of a parent is for your child to get along. I mean really, who wants to have the kid that “Doesn’t play well with others”? That has to be a nightmare for any mother or father. All I knew was that I didn’t want to have “that kid”! You know “that kid”. The kid who is always disruptive! Acts as if they are the only one in the room. As if the world revolves around them. You know? “That kid!”
Well, our day had come. Was our kid “that kid”? We were about to find out first hand. Some close friends were bringing their daughter over to our house. She was a few months younger than William. This would be so good for him. It would be so good for both of them. They’d each have a new friend. I couldn’t wait! My boy would have his first girlfriend.
My whole mood changed when she walked through the door. That was just it. She walked through the door. That’s when it hit me. Our kids were close to the same age yet they were so different. She had two eyes, William had two eyes. She had two ears, William had two ears. She had two arms, William had two arms. She had two legs, William had two legs. But, she was standing on hers. Sweet, darling JJ! I never saw the hurt coming. Figuratively, it brought me to my knees! I stood towering over a couple of two year old kids, yet I was the one who felt inferior.
Amazing how one person can change the mood in a room. I was in my own home and a little 2 year old girl, cuter than cute, made me feel like a prisoner. Her mere presence put me in my own solitary confinement. I was alone again! I felt like the walls were closing in on me. It was like we were in a tiny room where there’s barely enough space for me and JJ to stand up, and William could not.
I was compelled to face a pain that I had no idea existed. I was compelled to face reality. Sometimes reality bites! Deep. These were the facts. JJ could crawl. William could not. JJ could walk. William could not. JJ could run. William could not. JJ could run and play. William could play too, but.
JJ left. Things returned to normal. Finally! Suddenly, my biggest fear was not that William would become “that kid”, but others seeing him as THAT kid. I found myself dreading the JJ’s of the world.
Every parent wants to provide for their child. There are endless thoughts about what your child has and what they do not. The focus always seems to be on what your child does not have or what your child cannot do. Your child wants a toy? You buy them a toy at a toy store. Your child wants ice cream? You buy them ice cream at an ice cream store. Your child wants to walk? You…
William’s haves and have nots. That’s part of my struggle. I have learned to embrace them. All of them. He will walk. He will run and play one day. I believe.