People give lots of common excuses not to go to counseling. Take David, for example. David’s mood is a problem. He is irritable and difficult to be around lately. Something is really bothering him. Yet, he won’t talk about it or get help. Counseling could help, but he won’t go. Like David, do you make excuses to not go to counseling? You know it could help, but keep putting it off. Maybe one of these six common excuses fits you.

  • I don’t want to do what it takes to get better. Too often I see people unwilling to change. Frankly, I’ve told people not to waste their money seeing me in therapy when it is clear they do not want to change. People complain about their not-so-perfect lives, I offer help, but they do not act on the help. In some cases, they just want to say they “tried” by coming to see me. But in reality, there are not willing to do the hard work of change. Willingness is a prerequisite to get better. This is the number one of the common excuses people use.
  • It doesn’t feel good. You know the saying (I’m paraphrasing here), “If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. “ Excuse me, but since when are we ruled by our feelings. Apparently since the 1960s. The problem with feelings is they can’t be rely upon. They get us in trouble. Ask any three-year old what happens when she only does what feels good. Or ask a hormonal teenager the same question. A major part of growing up is learning to override our emotions. Some of us are still stuck in adolescence trying to do this.
  • It’s too hard. It is hard to face the pain in your life. Obviously, ignoring the pain doesn’t work either. You have a choice: Stay stuck or do the hard work and get unstuck. It will be hard but the end results are worth it.
  • I am too afraid. Well, join the rest of us. Fear is real, but when it stops you from doing what you need to do, it is a problem. When  fear guide our decisions, we stay stuck. Fear takes us nowhere. It only builds on itself and paralyzes us. Face the fear. Acknowledge it but move through it.
  • I do not believe I can do it. Why? We’ve bought the lie that says we can’t do things, that we should be dependent, victims, that we have no talents or special abilities. We can’t  because we haven’t tried. Don’t fall prey to the above excuses. Tell yourself,  “I’m sick and tired of this, and I’m not going to take it anymore.” Stop putting yourself down and doubting your talents and abilities.” You can do it. You can change and get better. But you have to believe it and stop doubting.
  • I don’t want to depend on God. God is not like a human. He is not flawed and likely to let us down. Don’t attribute human tendencies to Him, making Him weak, uncaring and uninvolved in our lives. Like the music videos we see, we’ve reduced Jesus to a religious figure with no power. We have to know God intimately in order to live in His love and experience His perfect peace. When we understand who Jesus really is, there is no way we could depend on anyone else. No one is able to come through and love us like He can. He is dependable and will help you make changes.
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