“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
“Do not wait: the time will never be ‘just right’. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.”
― Napoleon Hill
As of the time of this writing, New Years is around two weeks away. Soon, people all over the world will be making their New Year’s resolutions…lists of changes they intend to make, that quite frankly won’t happen.
Why is it that we set these huge goals that we don’t reach, and more importantly, how can we make sure this year is different from all the ones that came before?
On a recent episode of All About You with B. Dave Walters—the BEST show about *you* on the internet!—we talked about mastering change:
Why you aren’t attracting what you want, and how to change it, and how to make this coming year the best of your life! I also tell you how I managed to make more progress in 2014 than in the last few years combined!
Now we’ve talked before about what to do if you don’t know what to do with your life , and what to do to have your breakthrough, so here in this article I want to talk about why most people’s resolutions fall flat.
Because you don’t really want those things; not REALLY. We make resolutions at New Years because we are ‘supposed’ to. And more than becoming the dream shopping list from the Universe that our goals should be, they end up turning into an opportunity to beat up on ourselves. I feel fat, so I ‘should’ work out. I feel broke, so I ‘should’ make more money. I feel lonely, so I ‘should’ get out there and meet people. But any ‘should’ is never going to happen; only our MUSTS happen.
Now it’s true that all human action is based on one of two things: To gain pleasure, or avoid pain. And as such, there can be some value in setting goals to move away from what you don’t want, but it’s less effective than moving towards what you DO want. For instance, let’s say you set that goal that pretty much everyone has of getting into better shape. If you make it about running from ‘feeling fat’ and whatever negative judgments you have associated with that, then any time you miss a workout or fall short on your diet, you’ll use it as ammunition to beat up on yourself and feel even worse.
However, if you make the goal about what you are trying to achieve, such as how good it will feel to get back into your old jeans, how fantastic it is to be able to do something that you once couldn’t, how great it is to feel confident and strong…and the ego boost of turning heads when you walk by, then working out and sticking to your diet becomes easy, and when you fall short, you’ll just get up and get back on track. No drama required.
As a side note, if you do plan on getting into better shape—which you should, since there’s no greater investment than you can make in your own health—I highly recommend BeachBody’s programs. You can change your life in 30 minutes a day, but like anything, they only work if you do! If you have questions or need help getting started, shoot a message to my good friend Coach John Tantillo and he can help you get started. http://johntfitness.com/
Another reason why people’s goals don’t manifest is they don’t give themselves permission to want what they want. They feel guilty for dreaming big, or worry about what other people will say, to which I tell you: It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is that you look in the mirror and like what you see.
Who cares if the entire world approves of your life, if you are unhappy with it?
And finally, the biggest reason people’s goals don’t manifest is because they don’t DO anything to make them manifest! Remember the Law of GOYA: Get Off Your A! Nothing changes until you do, and if you’ve set the right goal, one that makes you feel 60% excited and 40% terrified, then putting in the work becomes easy. But remember, do something every single day that gets you closer to what you are trying to be, do, or have. Every day…no exceptions!
Losing a pound a week might not seem like much, but that’s 52 pounds in a year. Writing one page a day is a novel in 6 months. Running another mile a week is a marathon in around 7 months. Slow and steady wins the race, so don’t quit.
And above all else: Don’t wait! Don’t wait for January 1, show the Universe you are serious by starting NOW! 6 Months from now, you’ll wish you started today, so get to it; trust me, you’ll be glad you did.
What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!
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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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