“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
To fall seven times, it to rise eight times. Life begins today.
I’d like to talk a little bit here about confidence and self esteem. I’m serious, don’t roll your eyes at me!
Those words, ‘self-esteem’ get thrown around a lot, and quite often people start to think they are corny or somehow stupid. But the fact is, if you don’t have ‘esteem for yourself’, how can you expect other people to?
As I’ve said before , it all starts with self love. No one will ever think higher of you then you think of yourself.
And I can tell you why that is! Even if you found someone who thinks the world of you, (like I do), you’ll rationalize it or justify it, or put up blocks that will prevent you from feeling the full force of their affection.
See, a lot of people have adopted a false sense of humility, which is actually thinly veiled low self esteem. There is nothing at all wrong with accepting your Power. There is nothing at all wrong with being fully aware of your strengths, along with your weaknesses. Or, as I prefer to call them: opportunities for improvement.
Real confidence, and real humility, are actually two sides of the same coin. It comes from being 100% aware of who and what you are. Where you shine, and where you might need some help.
I’ll give you a personal example: I am brilliant when it comes to ideas. I can give you 10 different ways to do pretty much anything you can imagine.
But, I am nowhere near as strong when it comes to actually IMPLEMENTING those ideas! That is my struggle, my ideal situation is giving direction and having someone else do the actual leg work. There are people who are just the opposite: they are excellent doers, but may not be very creative.
And that’s OK!
As a side note, I’ve had to learn how to compensate for my own short comings, and here is an easy way you can compensate for yours.
Anytime you need to do something you don’t want to do, you have to turn Human Nature to your advantage. This is what I mean: all Human action, ALL Human action, is to do one of two things: gain pleasure, or avoid pain. And studies have proven again and again, we will work MUCH harder to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure.
I’ll give you an example: which would hurt worse: working to make an extra $10,000, or losing $10,000 you’ve already got? Exactly.
So when you need to do something you don’t want to do, first decide on what you will GAIN by doing it. Think of every possible positive benefit, even if it’s just the feeling of a job well done.
After that, think of everything NOT doing it is going to cost you, even if it is only the feeling that you broke your word with yourself. A part of self-esteem is knowing that you do what you say, even if it’s only what you say to yourself.
And finally, decide on a way you are going to reward yourself. Give yourself something, it doesn’t have to be a cookie. But, it can be a cookie if you want!
So, get clear on what doing it gains you, on what not doing it costs you, and a reward for yourself at the end.
Go with the flow. Work with all the parts of your mind to make change quickly and easily.
So let’s start tapping into all that power you’ve been letting go to waste.
Start by making a list of everything you are good at. And don’t be shy!
If you are pretty, write that down. If you’re smart, or good at math, or can balance check books well, or you’re funny, sensitive, or intuitive…write it down.
Then, make a list of all the things you’d like to change or improve. If you’re like most people, this list will be a LOT longer than the first one!
Franz Bardon, the great 20th Century mystic called these the Black and White Mirrors of the Soul. We are going to call them your ‘tool box’ and ‘to-do lists’!
You can take all the strengths on the first list and think of ways you can use them to improve your life, make money, or both!
You can take the *second * list and start improving yourself bit by bit. Remember, as long as you are better than you were yesterday, you are on the right track.
And I’ll leave you with one last tool you can use to improve yourself and your life.
The great Earl Nightingale taught something called “the 20 Idea Method” that Brian Tracy has popularized recently.
How it works, is you take out a piece of paper (or open up a document on your computer) and you write across the top the #1 problem you have right now, or what you’re trying to figure out.
And then, you proceed to think of 20 ways to solve the problem. The first 5 or 10 will come easily, but the last 5 or 10 will be tough! But DO NOT give up until you come up with 20 possible solutions. They can be crazy, they can be backwards, they can be totally unusable. But you’ll be surprised by the brilliant ideas your brain will produce when you won’t let it off the hook easily! Once you have the list of 20, pick the best one and DO IT!
And if you REALLY want to kick it into high gear, take the best idea from the list, and then think of 20 MORE ways to actually make it happen. Understand?
Watch the video below, that combined with this article should be more than enough to help you get started unleashing the real you!
Don’t be ashamed to shine, the world needs you!
And as always: if God be with you, who can stand against you?
You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!
B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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