Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology bill oreillyI’m so glad you came to me in your darkest hour, Bill. That’s a large part of what I do when I consult with people about their birth charts. Normally, the process of doing a reading involves a lot of back and forth, questions and answers, and conversation in general.

That’s not what I’m going to do for you today, Bill.

Astrology isn’t merely the cataloguing of your components to tell you “who you are” or “what you should do.” Some astrologers complain (and rightly so) about “cookbook” astrology. “Oh, you’re a Gemini? Well, the text here says that means you talk a lot. Therefore, you talk a lot.” There’s a great deal of value in cookbook astrology. After all, planetary placements and aspects do have real meaning and have real effects.

But you (and every other human being) are more than that. You aren’t the recipe, you are the dish. A recipe can tell you how to combine the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies, and you can follow those directions and product an adequate end result. But that recipe may not specify that the butter should ideally be at room temperature (and not melted) when you work it into the dough. It won’t tell you that adding a touch more vanilla will improve the flavor. It won’t tell you that sometimes substituting one type of chip for another can make the cookies better or that pre-heating the cookie sheet can make the edges crispier.

So, go with me on this, Bill: instead of the usual reading, I’m going to look at your birth chart and transits, and give you the answer to the important question that I’m certain you came here to ask me… and then give you a completely non-astrological answer.

I’m looking at your birth chart, Mr. O’Reilly — based on your voter registration card, which is all we know about the matter: born September 10, 1949, in (we think) New York City. Even with that limited information, two things stand out about your birth chart. The first is an almost unaspected Mars in early Leo. Sure, there’s a weak and out-of-quality opposition from Jupiter, but mostly that loud and proud Mars of yours is running around with little to hold it back.

The other thing that stands out to me is your Jupiter in Capricorn, which is trine your Sun, but square your Moon, Mercury, Venus, Neptune, and Nodes. This complex makes you a forceful communicator, and quite possibly someone who is fascinated with power structures.

Under different circumstances, this could have made you a great reformer, a champion of the little guy, an epic historian — and in your own way, you have achieved much of that. But when combined with your Mars, which rules the sex drive, it seems that your Jupiter complex has been directed in large part towards taking advantage of your position of power. Specifically, I refer to the long string of sexual harassment claims (and resulting legal settlements) that have now cost you your job at Fox News.

Astrologically, this was all triggered by transiting Pluto conjunct your Jupiter… which means that transiting Pluto is also squaring your Moon, Mercury, Venus, Neptune, and Nodes. It’s no wonder things have blown up in your face. In a sense, it’s unfortunate there wasn’t anything more epic about your fall — something more Shakespearean, something that could be spun into another one of your best-selling books… not that you’re likely to have too many of those again in future.


So, Bill: I assume your question is “why is all this happening to me?” I’ve outlined all the astrology that went into it, but that really isn’t my answer.  That’s a cookbook approach, and it’s not my job to recite dry details. Just today, and just for you, I’m going to give you a much more direct and honest response.

Why is all this happening to you? Because you deserve it, Bill. You deserve it.

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