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Oh My Stars

I’ve written about the aspects — how planets in your birth chart interact with each other — before, and yet it seems the subject needs more explanation. Here, for example, are the major aspects as seen through the Star Wars films.

(WARNING: If you’re learning astrology and get everything exactly right the first time, you’re undoubtedly getting something wrong. It’s not that easy to explain and/or understand, but I do my best, okay?)

So how do we make sense of it all, when you look at a chart and it says “Sun sextile Neptune” or “Venus square Jupiter,” or whatever? First of all, there are some fine books out there that list all the possible aspects between the planets in an easily, orderly manner. A lot of astrologers call these (sometimes a little disparagingly) “cookbook” listings. They may not give you the depth of experience an actual astrologer might have with them, but on the other hand… if you follow the right cookbook, you may not become an Iron Chef, but you’re bound to make tastier meals than the average person.

To give you a little idea of the flavor an aspect lends to the planets it connects, let’s have a look at a theoretical example. Imagine for a moment that Mercury, The Thinker And Talker, is standing at the very back of a very long line to get his driver’s license renewed… along with his very different friend, Mars, The Action Man. Without taking any action, it will take them at least two hours to get to the front of the line. Let’s see how the aspect between the two affects their behavior…

CONJUNCTION

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: (Speaking through megaphone) Your attention please! Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you!

(Ninety-five percent of the people in the lineup grumble and leave within ten minutes. MERC and MARS move to the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

SEXTILE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a sheet of poster board and a marker. MARS neatly writes a large sign that reads “Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you for your patience.” He tapes the sign up, and within twenty minutes most of the people in line notice it and leave. Soon thereafter, MERC and MARS at at the front of the line.)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

SQUARE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course. And it was stupid coming here on Monday. Mondays are always like this here.

MERC: Hey, I had to work around YOUR schedule, remember?

MARS: Don’t blame me, you chicken. We could have been here last week if you weren’t always talking about things instead of doing them!

MERC: Gee, sorry I can’t be a huge jerk like YOU.

(MERC and MARS continue to argue loudly, occasionally shoving each other. This makes the other people nervous and uncomfortable, and within forty five minutes most of them have left. Soon thereafter, MERC and MARS are at the front of the line.)

MERC: (Sarcastically) Nice work, dude!

MARS: Shut up!

(After the licenses are renewed, the police show up, arrest MERC and MARS, and haul them away.)

MERC: Hey, at least we got done here fairly quickly!

TRINE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: (Speaking through megaphone) Your attention please! Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you!

(Ninety-five percent of the people in the lineup grumble. MERC and MARS run around with an hors d’oeuvre tray, offer their sincere apologies for the cutbacks, and cheer everyone up. Within five minutes everyone else leaves, happy. MERC and MARS move to the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

OPPOSITION

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: Thanks… but I’d rather shove people around.

MERC: That doesn’t sound like an efficient use of energy. Why not use cunning instead? (hands MARS a sheet of poster board and a marker)

MARS: That’s stupid!

(MERC and MARS argue about the relative merits of their approaches. The argument continues and gets louder, and within an hour most of the other people have left because of the unpleasantness, and MERC and MARS arrive at the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude.

MARS: Whatever, dude.

 

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