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Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars

The Gemini Manual, Chapter 23: A Troubleshooting Guide

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Congratulations on your choice of a Gemini! This unit comes with a spectacular amount of data processing ability, and with regular maintenance will function smoothly for a long time. Of course, any complex system can produce complex and unpredictable results, and a Gemini is a highly complex system. If you encounter any issues with your Gemini’s functionality, please consult this guide before calling Customer Service.

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My Gemini is not responding to simple verbal requests.

You requests and/or suggestions have been too straightforward and/or demanding and/or boring. This can be addressed by either rephrasing your requests and/or suggestions, or possibly by checking your Gemini’s fluid levels (see Chapter 5: “Happy Hour”). Sometimes a simple rephrasing can work.
EXAMPLE: If “Go wash the car” doesn’t work, try one of these alternatives…
“Hey, you know what would be fun? If we washed the car!”
“We could go out and do something interesting, but the car is too dirty.”
“You know, I read in an article in Cosmo once that ‘a clean car’ is a huge turn-on.”

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My Gemini is continuing to discuss a subject much longer than necessary. How do I stop this?

This is to be expected. You can try changing the subject, offering money to stop, or perhaps saying something like “Well, that’s not what (insert name of Gemini’s friend) says”… in which case, your Gemini will at least continue the subject on the phone with the friend you named.

Is there a “mute” button on my Gemini?

No.

Is my Gemini compatible with PC, Apple, or Android systems?

Yes, and often in surprising and mysterious ways. Your Gemini is adaptable to and compatible with a wide variety of environments, operating systems, and people… at least for a little while. Eventually your Gemini will require resetting, which he/she will probably handle on his/her own (see Chapter 7: “Oh God, NOW What Are You Up To?”).

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How can I stop my Gemini from fidgeting?

This will eventually correct itself whenever any restraints (real or imagined) are removed (see Chapter 9: “Chasing Your Gemini Down The Street”).

My Gemini is taking too long to perform simple tasks and/or becomes easily distracted by routine.

This is an entirely normal behavior, as in most cases, this simply means your Gemini would rather be doing something else, would rather be with someone else, or would rather BE someone else. One or more of these states may exist in your Gemini simultaneously, and will usually straighten itself out shortly.

My Gemini appears to be flirting with someone else. How can I stop this?
You can’t. You may be misreading simple friendliness (See Chapter 18: “You USED To Like That About Me When We First Met”).

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My Gemini appears to be taking an opposite stance on an important issue from what he/she did a few hours ago. How can I change this?
You can’t. Remain calm and odds are good that stance will change back, or perhaps change to something even more infuriating.

My Gemini has stopped talking and become unresponsive.
It may be time to your replace your Gemini. Or, more likely, it may be time for your Gemini to replace you (see Chapter 24: “Starting Over”).

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