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Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Bio

Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement™ where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men¹s Health.

After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal!

Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.

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Valentine’s Day is considered a day for love. But there’s no law that love has to be the romantic kind. Giving flowers and gifts was a tradition created by companies that sell the products you buy. It puts pressure on […]

31 Days of Self-Love 2012

Self-Love Month is over but the love shouldn’t be!  it’s important to not forget the importance of giving yourself love as much as you can. If you haven’t already done do, I highly recommend you read my free book, How […]

Adjusting Your Attitude for More Happiness

I’m happy to have Tina Tessina, Ph.D. back as my guest. Her articles always bring a great response as she has such a great take on life’s ups and downs. Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Be a Loving Person

Today is the last day of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 173 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use […]

The Self-Loving Gift of Autonomy

Today is Day 30 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. DoorMats go along with what others want. MANY people look to others for a life and get obsessed […]

The Joy Within

Today is Day 29 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Sheila Viers as my guest today. She’s a Life Coach and Co-founder of Live […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Do Something Spontaneously

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. It can feel more comfortable to plan your activities in advance. No surprises, No risks. But doing something […]

Do You Have the Patience to Be Happy?

Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. You have the patience to wait on line to buy a ticket to a movie you’re anxious to […]

How’s Your Relationship with YOU?

Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Today I have Teri Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Post Happy Thoughts

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Often things that bother you can override the good you have. Studies have shown that negative emotions can […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Self-Appreciation

Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 172 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2012

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some in a post, to give […]

Healing with Self-Love

  Today is Day 22 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have Alice McCall as my guest today. Alice is a Cellular Level Healing Consultant, […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Learn to Say “No”

Today is Day 21 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’ve encouraged you to say “no” many times yet I know how hard it is to begin to […]

“Am I Willing to Love Me?”

Today is Day 20 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. “Am I willing to love me?” I always wanted to love myself. It seemed like the right thing […]

Try Some Self-Compassion

Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Commit to Doing One Small Task Every Day

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I often get frustrated at how quickly my dinette table gets cluttered with stuff. It can seem overwhelming […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Following Your Passion

Today is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 171 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

Favor vs. Obligation

Today is Day 16 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. We often confuse doing someone a favor with feeling an obligation to do something for someone. DoorMats see […]

Get Your Creative Hat On!

Today is Day 15 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Melissa Dinwiddie, an artist, creative coach and inspirationalist known for getting people sparked, stoked […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Say, “I Approve of Myself”

Today is Day 14 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Saying “I approve of myself as I am,” over and over, even if you don’t, can make it […]

Building Loving Energy

Today is Day 13 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have Laura M. Turner, M.Sc., CNHP back as my guest today. She’s an author, journalist […]

How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros

Today is Day 12 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show themselves love, to give you […]

“I Love Me Tip: Make a Bad Habit Piggy Bank

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. We all have habits that we don’t like. It could be an addictive one like overeating, or the […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Accepting Kindness

Today is Day 10 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 170 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

Self-Love vs. Selfish

Today is Day 9 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. There’s more than a fine line between being selfish and being loving to yourself. Yet some people confuse […]

Confessions of a Misguided Love Junkie

Today is Day 8 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have unconditional love expert Lisa McCourt as my guest today. I featured her video on […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Do Something Useless But Fun

Today is Day 7 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. We can get very practical in our decisions when we’re busy and these days who isn’t busy? In […]

Changing Your Thoughts to Build Self-Love

Today is Day 6 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’ve said before that my whole life changed when I read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise […]

Why Actress Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives) Helps Lung Cancer Patients

Today is Day 5 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Taking charge of your healthcare is self-love. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in the […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Find the Exercise You Enjoy

Today is Day 4 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I work out in the gym with a personal trainer and only work with weights. From the beginning, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Appreciating Life Right Now

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 169 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

The Joy of Being Imperfect

Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Many of us were brought up with very high standards. Your parents might have pushed you to get […]

Happy New Year Filled with Self-Love

Happy New Year!  I hope that your entry into 2012 was a happy one. As usual, I enjoyed doing my spiritual work to clear my energy for a good start to the next year of my life so I began […]

Start the New Year Resolved Not to Fail

Everyone is making New Years resolutions. It all feels and sound wonderful but, often—very often—the determination to keep them fades soon after January 1st. I love ending the year knowing I didn’t have any failures. While you’ve probably heard it […]

What’s Draining You?

Today I have Karen Okulicz as my guest. She’s the author of three motivational pocket books: Try: A Survival Guide to Unemployment; Decide: How to Make Any Decision; and Attitude: For Your Best Lived Life. Each book captures the best successful […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Set New Years Intentions, Not Resolutions, and DO Something

This is post 168 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Reach Higher

What are your goals? Are they big or just a little? I see many people with great potential who don’t live up to it because they get in their own way by not recognizing and accepting that they could have […]

Blessings for the Holiday and Beyond

Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or don’t have a specific religion, it’s lovely to enjoy the spirit of this holiday season. People seem friendlier. I love walking through the streets of Manhattan and always express amazement about how […]

Giving and Taking

Joe Scott, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Throwing Stuff Out

This is post 167 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Go for the Whole Enchilada!

DoorMats settle for crumbs—occasional attention from someone you do a favor for, romantic involvement with someone who is “better than nothing,” bits of happy times, etc. I remember clearly how that feels. Back in my Doormat days, I got used […]

Why Life Can Be Like Fruitcake

Life doesn’t always go smoothly, despite your best efforts. While I often recommend that you try to set boundaries on things you don’t want to do, there are times when doing something unpleasant is the right things to do, even […]

How We Create Fear & Anxiety

I’m delighted top have Friedemann Schaub MD., Ph.D., the founder of Cellular Wisdom, back as my guest today. He works with people to help them improve their health using both inner tools and his medical background. Today he shares his […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Resistant Beliefs

This is post 166 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Why I Don’t Like E-Cards

I used to send out lots of cards over the holiday season. Yes, it costs a bit for postage and also takes time to address each card and write a message. But it was also nice to send people good […]

10 Reasons to Love Yourself

With the holiday season upon us, everyone is out looking for gifts to give others. Yet it’s also important to consider the gifts you can give YOU. The greatest give you can give yourself is yourself—filled with self-love. Unfortunately, many […]

Becoming More Innovative

I’m delighted to have innovation expert Jeff DeGraff as my guest today. Jeff is an innovation professor at the Ross School of Business, the founder of Innovatrium Institute of Innovation, and co-creator of Competing Values Framework. In his new book, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Who Is Right?

This is post 165 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Do Unto Yourself as You Do Unto Others

I was taught it’s nice to please people. And it is, as long as you don’t sacrifice your own needs to do it, as many of us do. Putting more into pleasing others than you do to please yourself is […]

I Challenge You to Love Yourself!

January is Self-Love Month. Last year I began the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge to begin the year on a loving note. It’s a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the first 31 days of the year. But […]

Healing Inner Wounds

My guest today is Thomas Gagliano, author of The Problem Was Me: How to End Negative Self-Talk and Take Your Life to a New Level. About ten years ago, he started to spend less time in the business world and […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Writing Exercise #3

This is post 164 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Thank You Notes

I met a young woman at an event recenly. We chatted for a little while. I told her some of how I managed to reinvent myself and listened to her story about how she’s trying to find her way. I […]

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving

Every year many Americans gather with their families and friends on the fourth Thursday in November. Often it’s a time to pig out eating lots of goodies and having fun. But the true spirit of Thanksgiving is one we should […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Changing a Negative Vibration

This is post 163 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Healthy Arguments

I hear people brag that they never fight with loved ones. There seems to be a special pride about never fighting with a romantic partner. Unfortunately, that’s nothing to be proud of. Just because you keep things on an even […]

Give Yourself Permission to Be Down—Sometimes

I’ve always been an upbeat person and known for my smile. As a child, people liked me more because of it so even when I had nothing to smile about, my mouth automatically curved up. Even when I grew up […]

Finding Your Purpose with Dr. Mark Chironna

I’m delighted to have Dr. Mark Chironna, certified life coach, author, and spiritual director as my guest today. Dr. Chironna’s authentic and compassionate approach to purposeful, destiny-infused living has transformed lives everywhere through one-on-one mentoring, speaking engagements, print and electronic […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Louise Hay and Manifesting

This is post 162 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Other People’s Anger

I’ve talked a lot about calming your anger, but what about fielding the wrath of others? Today I heard from someone asking me about a situation that is sadly all too common—the wrath of someone else that seems irrational, which […]

Richard Simmons & the Power of Self-Love—Part 2

Yesterday I had Part 1 of my interview with the amazing Richard Simmons where he told how he went from a very overweight kid to being at the top of his game and leading so many people down a healthy […]

Richard Simmons & the Power of Self-Love—Part 1

Recently I saw Richard Simmons on several TV talk shows. I’ve always thought of him as a fun guy with lots of hair in little shorts and HUGE enthusiasm about leading and encouraging people to exercise and live a healthy […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “Am I in Alignment?”

This is post 155 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

‘Tis the Season for Self-Love

The holidays are coming. Winter is in the air. Soon there will be decorations going up. My neighborhood dresses up in wonderful ways, which takes the edge off of cold weather. But many people begin to feel down during this […]

Do Something NOW!

A good way to give yourself a quick dose of self-empowerment is to do something you’ve been putting off. Things often pile up in my apartment. I get so immersed in my writing that I don’t make time to sort […]

Practical Genius with Gina Rudan

I’m delighted to have Gina Rudan, author of PRACTICAL GENIUS: The Real Smarts You Need to Get Your Passions and Talents Working for You (Touchstone Hardcover), as my guest today. She is President of Genuine Insights Inc. a contemporary professional […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Don’t Ask for What You Want

This is post 160 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

The Happiness “Drug”

I always encourage people to do what they can to find real happiness. I don’t mean the kind that comes from making a purchase and feels good until you find the next item that will make you happy. I’m talking […]

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

Most people want to be safe and there’s nothing wrong with that. But, when you box yourself and  your life in too tight, you lose out on the best fun, opportunities, and other stuff that adds delicious spice to life […]

How Sound Affects Your Life

I’m delighted to have Don Campbell, bestselling author of The Mozart Effect®, and Alex Doman, an expert in the practical application of sound and listening as my guests today. Their new book, Healing at the Speed of Sound: How What […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Children

This is post 159 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Save Calories & Sweeten Lives

Every year at Halloween time I hear women “complaining” about all the candy they’ll eat. It’s a good excuse to buy all the decadent sweets you love so you can pig out on the leftovers. I used to do it […]

Stop Lamenting Problems!

Everyone has problems. Everyone! You may think it’s just you but we all have stuff go wrong or in ways we don’t like. I do. Recently I had to move my websites to a different server and it messed on […]

Understanding Anxiety with Dr. Jason Schiffman

Many of us experience anxiety occasionally when something stressful is happening that feels out of our control. Some of us can take it to the next level and let it rule our lives. I wanted you to understand more about […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Aligning with Your Desires

This is post 158 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Question: How Can I Stop Having To Work Extra Days?

Helena wrote that her boss knows she works faster than the other people in her department and lately has been putting her on the spot to work overtime after work, and on weekends. While she does get paid for the […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Tap into Vibrant Health with Brad Yates

In June I had a week-long series on how to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as Tapping to benefit all areas of your life. It included an interview with Margaret M. Lynch, a Success Coach, speaker and recognized […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »

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