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A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make…

You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if…

George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser who catered to others, with little reciprocation. People Pleasers don’t turn down requests or assert their needs. Do you want to stop…


We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how we present our thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention to yourself can help: is this how I’d like someone to talk to me? Women…
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