Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

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Today is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™.

We hear about too many successful people who are dying from a drug overdose or going off the deep end with drugs and alcohol or erratic behavior. Have you wondered what would make that happen when they seem to have it all? Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan are beautiful, talented young women with their whole adult lives ahead of them yet they continue having destructive behavior. Cory Monteith had a great career, good looks and the love of his life, and Heath Ledger who had a successful career both lost their lives to drug overdoses. And despite having a loving, devoted wife and the opportunity to play pro baskeball ,Lamar Odem risked it all as the public and media watched him tank from using drugs.

If good looks, money and a good career are supposed to make you happy, why are so many people who have these things so unhappy that they self-destruct? I believe it’s because they’re not at peace with themselves. We can be pushed in many directions by people we want to please—parents, romantic partner, friends, your boss. Trying to do what’s expected of you can make you overlook yourself, and what YOU need.

Trying to be perfect and succumbing to criticism can make you hard on yourself about improving how you look, the quality of your work, your skills, your ability to do more in less time, etc. When you feel down about yourself it’ hard to feel peaceful. And when you’re not peacefu insidel, it’s hard to be happy no matter how much money or other wonderful things you have. Doris Mortman says, “Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” That’s why so many rich and famous people end up destroying themselves with substance abuse. Drugs and alcohol can feel like an escape. But when you make peace with you an escape isn’t needed.

Making peace with yourself begins with self-acceptance. That doesn’t mean being satisfied with everything about you. It does mean accepting that it’s not just OK but it’s normal to not be perfect, that we all have things we’d like to change. I don’t care for my cellulite but now I embrace it as part o me.  When you can accept yourself in your own imperfect skin, you can find peace inside and begin to build self-love. The stronger your self-love, the more at peace you’ll be with you and the more you’ll find contentment with what you have.

Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

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