It’s inevitable. We’re going to suffer in this lifetime. We’re going to feel pain. We’re going to experience sadness. We’re going to have our hearts broken. We’re going to feel lower than we ever expected was possible.
Sometimes life just sucks.
Our loved ones die. We get sick. Relationships end. We lose our job. Or our home. Or our connection to our soul.
It happens. Over and over again.
And yet, there is something so special about the human spirit. Because we seem to have this amazing ability to bounce back from all of this heartache and all of this grief and all of this pain. We seem to have this amazing resilience for picking ourselves back up and embracing life again.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this time and time again. We all have.
There isn’t a single adult living in our entire world who hasn’t suffered and lost and been in complete despair.
And there isn’t a single adult living in our entire world who hasn’t felt the strength of their own spirit to pull them through this despair and move through it into lightness and happiness and peacefulness.
I’ve recently been in the depths of my own despair and my own grief and my own sadness after losing an integral member of my family who has been with me for many, many years: my sweet dog-ter, Xena.
And while in this space, I’ve been at absolute bottom. And I gave myself permission to stay there for as long as I needed – crying and feeling the emptiness that goes with losing someone so close to our hearts.
While I’m not yet out of this dark space, I wanted to share some of what’s helping me through with the hopes that it will help you when you next experience sadness, too.
- Loved Ones. I can’t imagine having gone through this grief without my husband. We are experiencing this together, and we are leaning on each other to help us heal. Grief goes in waves, and I know that when a new wave is coming, I can go to him and be held until it passes. I know that we can sit at Xena’s bed and share our favorite memories of her until I feel strong enough to stand back up again. My mom has also been a rock during this experience. I have called her almost daily over the past month – we’ve cried together and laughed together, and I’m so grateful for her love. I also am surrounded by so many beautiful friends who swooped in and wrapped my heart in theirs during this time. I’m beyond thankful.
- Chocolate. I have had more chocolate in the last month than probably the last few years. It makes me feel better, and I’m so grateful that it’s here. My sugar-free diet definitely went out the window, and I’m okay with that.
- Space. I am so used to go, go, going that I had forgotten how it feels to simply be still – to have space around me that isn’t filled or scheduled in somehow. Over the past month, I have remembered what it feels like to sit and do nothing. To space out or reflect or ponder or stare. To rest and relax. I gave myself this space because I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, but it’s a gift that I’m planning to make room for in my life moving forward.
- Comfort. When I’m grieving, I yearn for comfort – soft pajamas and slippers worn all of the time, cuddly blankets to wrap myself in while I’m watching a movie, warm spiced tea, and foods that feed my soul and make me feel loved and nurtured.
- Escape. It’s not possible to stay in this sad space 24 hours a day – at least not for me. And so I’ve been extra grateful for activities that allow me to escape this pain for a little while – such as movies and books and games and naps and work. Each of these has been a lifeline for me to recharge my spirit – even for an hour or two before going back to the grief.
Each of these people/activities/experiences helps me to feel just a little better. I know that it takes time to heal, but in the meantime I am grateful to have each of these in my life to support me in getting through it.
I would love for you to share anything that helps you and makes you feel a bit better when you’re suffering.
It’s something that we’ve all been through and that we’ll all continue to experience throughout our lives.
And while it sucks to be in the midst of the pain, I do believe that there are so many beautiful gifts that can be pulled from it. The first of which being our self-nurturing tips that we can share with each other.
Jodi Chapman is a bestselling author, an award-winning blogger, and a soulful community builder. She lives her life with love and faith in the driver’s seat, and she hopes to leave a trail of inspiration wherever she goes. She believes that we each have the ability to hear our soul’s whisper and create our best lives. She would love to connect with you!