It never fails. When I sit down to write – when I invite quiet and solitude into my life and slow down long enough to center myself and listen to my soul – I am filled with an unsettled feeling. I am filled with a compulsive urge to check and then re-check my email. And then it becomes extra important to log back into Facebook to make sure no one has responded to my latest comment. It’s in these moments that I realize how uncomfortable I am with not only stillness but also with not having any buffers or distractions between myself and my soul.
That feels scary and uncomfortable. It feels raw and uncensored and a bit too real.
So it makes perfect sense that I try to “protect myself” from myself in the form of compulsion, busyness, and distraction.
Sometimes it feels as though there are two of me battling it out (I am a Gemini after all): the wise part who is open to the possibility and the afraid part who wants nothing more than to protect myself from anything that could make me feel open, vulnerable, or possibly sad.
This inner battle takes place each time I sit down to write, but thankfully I have found a way to move through it – a way for the wise part of my self to take control and be able to slow down so that I can write from my heart and share my soul with you.
I breathe through it.
It sounds so simple, right? I’ve found that the solutions are so often much easier than we may think.
So here’s how this works for me:
I sit down to write. I center myself by lighting my candle and pulling a Soul Clarity Card. I open the blank computer file and wait for the words to flow.
And it’s in this quiet space that I begin to feel uncomfortable. I get the urge to move away from this silence – from this stillness. I immediately feel that I absolutely must check my email and Facebook. This compulsion begins to consume me – it’s all I can think about. I feel desperate to be anywhere but here in this vulnerable space.
I have learned that I don’t have to give into these thoughts. I have learned that I have a choice in this moment. I could open my email and leave this soulful, inviting space. Or I can acknowledge these thoughts, send them love for wanting to protect me from feeling deeply, and I can choose to breathe through them.
In through the nose.
Out through the mouth.
Which is what I am choosing to do. I close my eyes and thank my soul for showing up and sharing its wisdom with me. And I take another deep breath. And another. And another.
However many it takes until I am clearheaded and filled with love and light. Until I feel centered and grounded and free of this urge to be anywhere but here.
And then I write. And I always, always, always am grateful that I stayed. No matter what comes up in the writing (pain, joy, sadness, etc.), I am always closer to myself and closer to the universe. I always feel cradled in love. I always feel more whole. Always.
This has become such an empowering exercise for me. It shows me how much control I truly have over my thoughts and my compulsions. It shows me how powerful my soul and my higher self truly are. It shows that I am always just one breath away from light and love.
We all are.
So if you ever feel yourself pulling away from your own present moment, whether it’s to keep you from writing or meditating or being still within your soul, I invite you to try breathing into it, too. It’s so freeing. It’s so grounding. It’s so loving.
I have a feeling you’ll enjoy giving yourself this respite from all of the busyness that constantly surrounds you. I have a feeling you’ll enjoy the silence and the soulful connection.
All it takes to stay there is just one breath. And that’s something we all can do.
Jodi Chapman is a bestselling author, an award-winning blogger, and a soulful community builder. She lives her life with love and faith in the driver’s seat, and she hopes to leave a trail of inspiration wherever she goes. She believes that we each have the ability to hear our soul’s whisper and create our best lives. She would love to connect with you!