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Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura

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Are You An Over-Apologizer?

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I am. And I’m betting most women are. In fact, a study found that women apologize more than men do. Why? Men have a higher tolerance for what they perceive is worthy of an apology. Women who want to instill […]

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The F-Word That Will Change Your Life

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don’t have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem full of grief, heartbreak and anger. And it’s so easy to stay in […]

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Practicing Acceptance

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I think one of the greatest obstacles we grapple with is learning how to accept what is instead of moaning and groaning about what we don’t have. It’s like we’re sitting there one hand full of riches and the other […]

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The Truth About Comfort

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Fear if left alone will only grow bigger. And if confronted can reap so many unexpectedly beautiful things. Such a small choice like deciding to go out with a new friend or trying a new restaurant, a new way home, […]

Why Life is Unfair

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Life is not supposed to be easy. We’re not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We’re grown to be both hard and soft, both strong and vulnerable. We’re built to withstand hardship and to be supple and […]

What’s Causing You the Most Suffering

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

What’s causing you the most suffering in life isn’t the things you don’t have or not being grateful for the things you do. The reason why most of us endure so much unnecessary pain is that we believe in the […]

Sweet Ways to Savor the Weekend

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Remember when weekends were all about doing nothing? When you could lay back and lounge around with a intoxicating book and an ice cold drink? Weren’t those days the best? What happened to our weekends? Why have they been suddenly […]

Don’t Let Fear Overrun Your Faith

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

That’s the thought that overpowered me over a decade ago when I had a once-in-a-lifetime chance to work part-time as a private investigator. And it’s visiting me again. It’s so easy for me to fall into the trap of fear. […]

10 Ways to Beat Anxiety

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Anxiety is not my favorite disorder. It’s probably one of my least favorite. Why? Unlike depression it can make normal activities like going to the grocery story or riding a plane feel like a real life nightmare. Thankfully, there are […]

Summer Un-Necessities: What You Don’t Need This Summer

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

It’s just a few days until it’s officially summer. This usually signals a mad rush to truly savor the season. But unlike spring, fall or winter, there’s an added expectation that comes with these next few months. So instead of […]

Fathers Know Best: Best Advice from Fathers

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Most of the time, my dad throws out tips like the following: “Make sure you eat at that restaurant. It’s a good time to buy a house.” Or he tells me when to get my oil changed or doles out […]

5 Thoughts That Can Sabotage Your Happiness

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.”—  Thich Nhat Hanh We often attribute our happiness to external circumstances. But in reality, how happy you are is less dependent on what happens to you and […]

Dealing with Overwhelm

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Yesterday all was well. But today? Hell broke lose and today’s an all together different story. Suddenly, your work load, your kids, your bank account, your health all need your attention and they need it now! What seemed easy to […]

5 Ways to Feel Better Right Now

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Negative emotions can take a toll on even the strong at heart. Sadness can leak out a happy spirit, just as anxiety can steal away a hopeful soul. In moments when we worry, we rob ourselves of love, acceptance and […]

Be Your Own Needle in a Haystack

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I know that quote’s about how hard it is to find things. But I think it may have dual meanings. If you’ve grown up like I have in a community/family/school where everyone is a haystack, it must have been hard […]

Learning How to Be Imperfect

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” ~ Harriet Braiker It could be a joke that I’m writing this post. After all, I’ve been known to discard drawings and crumple up grade school art projects because it […]

How to Be Shameless

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

There’s been something weird going on with me lately. Or maybe it’s been like this for awhile. I noticed that every time I create something, I have a tinge of something. Something that comes from a deep place, but difficult […]

The Best Advice I Ever Got

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Most of the time people throw advice around irresponsibly. They tell you to, “Buck up,” when you’re down or to, “Get over it,” when you’re in the throes of grief. A lot of times they give you advice about things […]

Where the Answers Are

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I spent the long holiday weekend in Georgia where my husband and I had one adventure after another. We saw alligators, hiked through the sweltering heat, and biked in a downpour. But of everything we saw, witnessed, and adored, it […]

Gratitude on Memorial Day

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Whenever I pass a man or woman in military uniform, I feel overcome with gratitude. I wish I could say aloud what I’m thinking in my head. I wish I had the courage they have. I wish I had their […]

Finding the Treasure in Your Trash

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I skim around the Facebook block every once in awhile, checking to see what others are doing, looking for good deals. And then I’ll pause on a  pal’s dirty dish, a complaint, a disappointment, a frustration. I’ll drench myself in […]

The Bright Side of Envy

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

You might as well face it. There will come a time when you look at a friend, classmate, colleague, relative or acquaintance and see right through them. You won’t feel pride, love, or excitement for their latest endeavor, but a shot […]

Give Yourself Permission to Be

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

{flickr photo} Like reptiles we shed our soft baby skins and soft, playful spirits when we leave childhood. We embrace a tougher skin and more brittle insides that we think come with adulthood. “We’re grown-ups now,” we say to ourselves. […]

Finding Your Happy Place

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

How many times have you gotten caught up in drama that wasn’t true? Or lost yourself in the obsession of negative thinking? It’s a constant tape playing that says: you’re not good enough no one likes you you’re a horrible […]

Advice for College Graduates

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

It’s graduation season! I couldn’t write this post without one for college grads now could I? Graduating high school was a completely different monster from graduating high school. You grow in college. You get to indulge in exploring who you […]

What to Do When Everything is Going Wrong

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

You ever wake up to a nightmare of a day? The type of day that makes you want to get back into bed, pull the covers over your head and try again tomorrow? Maybe your inbox is flooded with people […]

Finding Courage

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I used to think that to be a courageous person you needed to do great things. You had to be a soldier, a mountain climber, or a person who gave speeches for a living. I put all the things I […]

Don’t Sweat the Weekend

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Got big plans for Mother’s Day this weekend? Or are you on the opposite side of the coin, in agony about doing nothing once again? It’s amazing how much suffering we can cause ourselves over nothing. There is the stress […]

Coping With Grief & Loss

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

One of the those difficult, but inescapable human experiences we all deal with is loss. Sometimes it’s losing a loved one that has us spiraling into sadness and depression. But it can also be the loss of a dream. How […]

5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Graduating High School

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

It’s been well over a decade since I accepted my diploma under hot stadium lights among a crowd of proud parents and excited friends. And when I look back on that momentous day, I remember the following: 1) how nervous […]

Rethinking Failure and Success

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I bet the last time you made a mistake you thought it was a failure right? You messed up at work. You screwed up your relationship. You made a flub, error, blunder, a big snafu on a check, when driving, […]

Why You’re Never Alone

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

During the most difficult moments in my life, I often felt alone. The intensity of the experience (the drop to the knees variety) was so acute that it felt as if all security and stability had fallen away. Like standing […]

An Unexpected Blessing

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

“You two look alike. You must be sisters, “ she said. My mom and I smiled. Not sisters but close. Her brief interaction with us was hopeful. She acknowledged us, looked us in the eye and spoke. It was enough […]

What it Means to Surrender

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Most people understand the concept of surrender. Dictionary.com defines it as the following: “1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to thepolice. 2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police. 3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion,etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship. 4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.). 5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.” When it comes to surrendering our things, thoughts, or ideas, the concept may not be difficult to swallow. […]

Am I On the Right Path?

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

It’s a question that may plague you while you’re at work, relaxing on the weekend or tossing and turning in bed at night. It’s a question difficult to avoid and one that often emerges unexpected. It could be a strong, […]

How to Be Okay With the Unknown

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

I guarantee our ancestors were better at it than we are. They didn’t have smart phones back then, or tablets, or digital notebooks. They looked to the stars for guidance and their hearts for hope. And when it got really […]

Stop Striving for Normal

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Do enough internet searches on the web and you’ll realize everyone wants to know the answer to this simple question: “Am I normal?” Why do we strive so hard to fit into the norm? What makes being normal appealing instead […]

Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

People often wait for mind-boggling miracles, the way they used to wait for Santa Claus. But I’d argue that extraordinary moments creep up on us even on seemingly ordinary days. Years ago, I was sitting in traffic. It was morning […]

How to Heal Yourself and the Earth on Earth Day

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Earth Day (April 22) is a great excuse to give back to Mother Earth for all the other days when we’re taking advantage of her. But it’s not just about toting a cute reusable grocery bag, getting rid of the […]

5 Free and Meaningful Gifts Just for You

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Yes I know it’s almost Mother’s Day and Earth Day is coming up. I get enough email newsletters in my inbox to be reminded of that at least 10 times a day. And while they are holidays well-deserving of attention, […]

The Hurtful Things They Say

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Sometimes in trying to deal with your pain, loved ones say things that dig deeper into your wound instead of heal it. It may feel like a personal attack, but they are not trying to hurt you. Often people feel […]

What’s Standing in the Way of Your Happiness

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

It’s  not your annoying neighbor, your stingy boss, your selfish ex or that guy who cut in front of you at the grocery store. The often difficult pill to swallow is that the one person standing between you and your […]

Refresh Your Spirit This Weekend

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

As we transition from a hectic work week into the weekend, it’s important to plan activities that take you from stressed and burnt out to recharged and filled with peace. And there is a way to do so that doesn’t […]

The Three People You Need Right Now

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

A few weeks ago I wrote a post on the people you should avoid when you’re feeling down. You might know them as the narcissist, the pessimist and the attention seeker. Well just as there are people we should avoid […]

Are Supplements Really Good for Your Mental Health?

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Perhaps you read about the potential positive benefits vitamins and supplements can have on your mental health and you were intrigued. But though your curiosity was peaked you still doubted its ability to work as legitimate treatment for things like […]

Not Letting Labels Define You

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

“You’re selfish.” “You’re lazy.” “You’re a dreamer.” These labels can define us. Whether they’re given when we’re kids or are carelessly said to us as growing adults, we often carry these words as if they were invisible tags around our […]

How to Dump Disappointment

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

One of the most difficult things to contend with in life is disappointment. It’s the reason why we hold back our emotions, why we’re consistently indecisive and why we’re afraid of taking big risks. It goes something like this… Once […]

Meaning Amongst Chaos

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

As the Easter weekend approaches, you have several to-do lists that fill your mind. There’s the church service, the egg hunt, the dinner, and of course Easter candy for the kids. The perfect recipe for a (chocolate) melt-down. Holidays have […]

All the Courage You’ll Ever Need You Had as a Baby

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Doesn’t it seem like we have all the courage we’ll ever need as children and somehow we lose it as we become adults? As a child, I used to kill roaches with my chubby bare hands, ride roller coasters that […]

Afraid of Being the Fool?

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Happy Belated April Fool’s Day! Did you escape one of these 100 top hoaxes of all time? Surprisingly, the annual “fear of being fooled day” isn’t as anxiety-provoking as the fear produced by being fooled on an ordinary day. How […]

Religion & Spirituality: The Duo That Could Save Your Life

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

With Easter fast approaching, you may have chocolate bunnies religion on your mind. And if so, that might be a good thing especially for your health. Why? In, “Lifestyle and Mental Health” an article published in the American Psychologist , Roger Walsh, M.D., […]

Why You May Not Need Therapy or a Pill to Feel Better Now

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Mental Health Alternatives to Medication and Counseling Last February, the American Psychological Association (APA) published an article called Lifestyle and Mental Health on the advantages of therapeutic lifestyle changes or TLC on individual and social well-being. While culturally we’re more […]

Meditation for Children

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Imagine growing up in a town where people’s number one priority is meditation. And everyone in the community drops everything before 5:00 pm so that they can attend their evening meditation service. Welcome to Fairfield, Iowa. As a child, my […]

Spring Cleaning for Your Soul

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Once a year you grab a mop, broom, and garbage bag to make your home sparkle. You don’t think twice about rolling up your sleeves in an effort to partake in an annual spring cleaning, but how many of you […]

Something Life Changing to Do Over the Weekend

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

You can use your free time to unwind over the weekend or you can use the time to try something else. If you’d rather decompress with a glass of wine, watch mindless TV, go dancing or take a hike with […]

The Connection Between Allergies and Mood

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Spring is officially here. You’re either rejoicing the end of the winter blues or mourning the beginning of allergy season. If you’re in the latter category, I feel you. It’s not just a nuisance to deal with headaches, watery eyes […]

Avoid These People When You’re Feeling Down

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

When you’re in a good mood, you can almost be around anyone. Tackling your negative aunt or your pessimistic brother doesn’t seem that much of a feat. When you’re feeling good, you can shrug your shoulders, wave away their sour […]

Tools to Improve Your Mood

posted by Brandi-Ann Uyemura

There have been many times in my life when I was surrounded by a multitude of friendships. And equally times when I have felt alone. What I realized is that it’s often not the quantity of friendships you have that […]

Previous Posts

Are You An Over-Apologizer?
I am. And I'm betting most women are. In fact, a study found that women apologize more than men do. Why? Men have a higher tolerance for ...

posted 12:21:37am Sep. 06, 2012 | read full post »

The F-Word That Will Change Your Life
To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don't have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem ...

posted 9:30:37am Aug. 13, 2012 | read full post »

Practicing Acceptance
I think one of the greatest obstacles we grapple with is learning how to accept what is instead of moaning and groaning about what we ...

posted 9:00:28am Aug. 07, 2012 | read full post »

The Truth About Comfort
Fear if left alone will only grow bigger. And if confronted can reap so many unexpectedly beautiful things. Such a small choice like deciding to go out with a new friend or trying a new restaurant, a new way home, can be like a car wash for ...

posted 9:00:22am Jul. 16, 2012 | read full post »

Why Life is Unfair
Life is not supposed to be easy. We're not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We're grown to be both hard and soft, both strong ...

posted 9:00:47am Jul. 12, 2012 | read full post »

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