God's Comic

God's Comic


The confounding liberal “Christian”

posted by Brad Stine

As a Christian man I can’t in good conscience vote for Barack Obama. His values and fruit have proven him to be antagonistic to traditional Christian worldview. But he may become the next president and I would be expected by God to pray for him and all leaders to make moral decisions when leading the country as well as implement fair and just laws. Remember I don’t attack people, but I’m duty bound to attack ideas that fight against God’s.
My conundrum is the neo-Christian left that are voting for him. Why not consider yourself pantheistic? At least then you would be consistent with your cherry-picking form of faith that ignores immutable truth, which is the standard of Jesus message. Moral absolutes never change which is why Jesus promised that you can gauge whether your one of his by one simple rule, are you hated at times? Many “Christian” lefties are nice people though and compromise their faith I guess to make it more palatable to non-believers. Meanwhile they’re shooting me and mine in the back. I have tried to imagine based on Obama’s worldview how they have justified their approval of him. Here’s all I could come up with.

1) Being as he will support and endorse the single most liberal abortion protection legislation in history I guess what they’re saying is that he is actually being a man of inclusiveness and tolerance by dignifying the ancient Aztec tradition of child sacrifice in order to bring good crops upon the land. Aztecs as we all know have been continually maligned and ignored as a productive and important part of the American experience and the 2 Aztecs left here will be able to hold their heads high again…. sure Obama will be killing off potential future voters but he’ll be long out of office by then, and besides that’s the next guys problem.

2) As a socialist Obama will finally make it easy for guys like me that came from humble beginnings and made a career for ourselves by Gods grace and sweat equity to take it easy, work less and get paid anyway. I know the Bible says that those that don’t work shouldn’t eat but with the new revised liberal/left Bible interpretation, to care for the poor no longer means the church but instead a secular government that has proven time and again its expertise in using taxes prudently and effectively. I also will have the privilege of knowing my tax dollars are subsidizing the human sacrifices we spoke of earlier that have gone so out of fashion as of late. I’m putting this updated worldview right to work where next Halloween I am encouraging my kids to stay home, let their friends trick or treat, and then have them stop by on their way home and drop a third of their candy in my kids bag. THAT is American ingenuity.

3) Obama says he’s a Christian but doesn’t believe it’s right for everyone. Finally someone in office able to clear up that age-old conundrum of Jesus being the only way to the Father! To have that baggage off my shoulders of knowing that Muslims, Atheists, secular humanists, relativists, materialists, rationalists, and Wicca’s will all go to heaven without Jesus muddying up the water saves me the trouble (and expense) of supporting missions trips to foreign lands and should make all of us sleep better at night.

4) Using his race to avoid scrutiny is a clever tactic and something we can all emulate. Unfortunately my race is European but did I mention I’m a big fan of the ancient Aztecs? The upside is that as a president who is black and not of the evil, self-serving European descent (his pastor’s words, not mine) we will finally see an end to poverty, the end of racism, and the end of Christian influence in the public square. The answer to these problems has always been in liberal socialism-materialism and everyone knows that nothing motivates a generation like a handout. Ask Stalin. The Christian forefathers prayed for a day where the Judeo/Christian moral standard of America would self implode since it asks too much from individuals to call sin, well, sin as opposed to cultural fluctuation, and to think, it came from our own! I’m making up new bracelets ”What Would Judas Do?”

5) Finally I am excited about the new Christian liberal persuading the rest of us archaic traditional evangelicals to their revolutionary neo-Christianity that can vote for someone completely antithetical to historic Christian values and social influence. It’s exciting because they’ll get to do it w/o the Bible and all its oppression. These Christians are doing a lot to change America in Jesus name. The only thing they’re missing is….Jesus. Then again, it’s a real probability he never knew them anyway…… By the way have you heard about the Aztec renaissance?



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