Beliefnet
God's Comic

At
the risk of sounding like a heretic, when I talk to people in church I like to
use words that one might actually use in conversation on a regular basis outside of church with actual humans.

 

Is
it too much to ask when I enter a church building I won’t be bombarded by terms
and idioms that are buzz words to let you know you are speaking to a highly
evolved Christian entity, meanwhile a non-believer joining you believes he just
entered a foreign country.

 

I
asked a church member when I saw him the other day how he was doing. Pretty
common inquiry don’t ya think? Normally answered in the real world with deep
philosophical responses like …” OK” or ” Pretty good” or even if they’re particularly
charitable ” fine…and you”?

 

But
this guy didn’t say any of those things; instead he had a response only found
in the rarefied language of the land of Churchianity. He said he was “blessed”.

 

He
said blessed but took umbrage when I started worshipping him. One of the
definitions for blessed is  “worthy
of adoration, reverence or worship “. You would think if he admitted he was
adorable he wouldn’t mind being adored.

Apparently
his “blessed” was of the other definition meaning ” divinely or supremely
favored”, this I found problematic because the dude is bald.

 

I
always figured if God found me specifically favored he would allow me to keep
my hair thus making it easier for mere mortals not to laugh when they looked at
me, as well as confirming my “blessed-ness“.

 

 By the way, I have no problem responding
positively about where you are in your life based on the very Christian idea
that we are to be content in all things. But the Bible also say’s we can’t lie
and I’m sorry oh great man of faith but sometimes…life sucks!

 

If
you believe it is more Christian not to admit that, do yourself a favor and
don’t read Psalms. It is filled with an obviously unspiritual, despised by God,
David saying things like ” Well my enemies are eating well, are happy, and
trying to kill me.”

 

I
on the other hand as a committed follower of yours am trapped in a cave eating
roots. Thanks Lord…just what I prayed for! Let me guess, next I get to start
going bald? Yippee, look everyone….I’M BLESSED!

Just
be happy you don’t live in the first church. Lying meant not only will people
find out…God is going to KILL you.

Boy
if that doesn’t force you to be a little more committed to your faith I don’t
know what will and some think tithing is asking too much.

 

Listen
maybe you are blessed, but ALL THE TIME? Just once I would like to hear a
little more transparency amongst the tribe. Something like ” Yeah I’m ok except
for the hemorrhoids acting up” or  “I’m
good but my wife is driving me crazy!”

 

To
me the power of my faith comes not from ignoring the pain of life but realizing
that that goes with the deal and
enduring the difficulty with hope is a greater witness then disguising the
issue outright.

A
forthright Christian is balanced and more importantly….human.

 

 Anyways..I hope that blesses youJ

 

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