God's Comic

God's Comic

Let’s get real

the risk of sounding like a heretic, when I talk to people in church I like to
use words that one might actually use in conversation on a regular basis outside of church with actual humans.


it too much to ask when I enter a church building I won’t be bombarded by terms
and idioms that are buzz words to let you know you are speaking to a highly
evolved Christian entity, meanwhile a non-believer joining you believes he just
entered a foreign country.



asked a church member when I saw him the other day how he was doing. Pretty
common inquiry don’t ya think? Normally answered in the real world with deep
philosophical responses like …” OK” or ” Pretty good” or even if they’re particularly
charitable ” fine…and you”?


this guy didn’t say any of those things; instead he had a response only found
in the rarefied language of the land of Churchianity. He said he was “blessed”.



said blessed but took umbrage when I started worshipping him. One of the
definitions for blessed is  “worthy
of adoration, reverence or worship “. You would think if he admitted he was
adorable he wouldn’t mind being adored.

his “blessed” was of the other definition meaning ” divinely or supremely
favored”, this I found problematic because the dude is bald.



always figured if God found me specifically favored he would allow me to keep
my hair thus making it easier for mere mortals not to laugh when they looked at
me, as well as confirming my “blessed-ness“.


 By the way, I have no problem responding
positively about where you are in your life based on the very Christian idea
that we are to be content in all things. But the Bible also say’s we can’t lie
and I’m sorry oh great man of faith but sometimes…life sucks!



you believe it is more Christian not to admit that, do yourself a favor and
don’t read Psalms. It is filled with an obviously unspiritual, despised by God,
David saying things like ” Well my enemies are eating well, are happy, and
trying to kill me.”


on the other hand as a committed follower of yours am trapped in a cave eating
roots. Thanks Lord…just what I prayed for! Let me guess, next I get to start
going bald? Yippee, look everyone….I’M BLESSED!


be happy you don’t live in the first church. Lying meant not only will people
find out…God is going to KILL you.

if that doesn’t force you to be a little more committed to your faith I don’t
know what will and some think tithing is asking too much.


maybe you are blessed, but ALL THE TIME? Just once I would like to hear a
little more transparency amongst the tribe. Something like ” Yeah I’m ok except
for the hemorrhoids acting up” or  “I’m
good but my wife is driving me crazy!”



me the power of my faith comes not from ignoring the pain of life but realizing
that that goes with the deal and
enduring the difficulty with hope is a greater witness then disguising the
issue outright.

forthright Christian is balanced and more importantly….human.


 Anyways..I hope that blesses youJ


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posted November 16, 2010 at 10:28 am

After having received what was basically a hate letter oh a week or so ago for not using a more “Christian vocabulary.” I love this piece. I intentionally avoid those million dollar words that make us sound like some elitist polo club, and this guy thought that made me an illiterate heretic. I’m new at the hate mail thing and I still spin and write my own version of smite-them-already-god psalms.
“Blessed and highly favored” is popular in Oklahoma. Not sure why.
My husband and I are in a church plant, surrounded by new Christians, we talk a lot about Christianese how confusing it is. Fortunately for us we have this new gal that says “What?” a lot. Keeps us speaking English, which I think is a good thing.
Good article Brad. Thank you for the reminder.

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posted November 17, 2010 at 8:52 am

Good point! I would just like to say, though, that God has a history of looking out for the more evolved people (baldies). In 2 Kings 2:23-25, children in Bethel mocked Elisha for being bald, which prompted him to curse them in the name of the Lord. What happened next? Two she-bears came down and tore 42 of them apart! All I’m saying is that God has the bald people’s backs.
P.S. I don’t believe in evolution, it was just a joke.

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claritza rivera

posted November 17, 2010 at 10:38 am

I love your comment, because we christian have a problem being reality.

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posted November 18, 2010 at 6:40 pm

I understand where you are coming from, and under person, I Knew also use to answer this way. Often others would want person to clarify, seemed like they needed to here of some misery, or grief or maybe even a gripe,but person would continue to say, Im blessed. Tried to say I Was highly favoured and blessed to someone once, even to a Pastor, assumed the look on her face I WAS not expected to be saying this either. There is a voice that says to call those things that are not so as tho they are. OR To decree a thing and make it so. Book of JAMES says there is power of life and death, in our tongues, and even in proverbs and eccesiates, the tongue is mentioned. So is it really lying to say what God says about us. NEW BLESSINGS EVERYDAY, his word says, and really if we concentrate on the negative does it make us feel better.. ITS like misery loves company, or maybe you share something that is gossiped, and yes there is gossip, in the church say it aint so.

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Anan E. Maus

posted November 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm

balance is good. being very honest with words is good. most folks probably don’t feel precisely in the consciousness of the spiritual words that they use. But they can also serve as inspiration.
A “bless you” may be insincere…but there is a chance there is some good will behind it.
A “howrya” just can’t really express the depth you may be feeling.
When my doctor heals an injury and gets me out of great pain…I do find myself looking for words of greater power than I simple “thank you.”
so, I do think that deeper spiritual words can have a purpose.
but yeah, I am basically with ya, insincerity is a big problem…

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