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  In terms of what we know about relationships, small and annoying habits can add up to big relationship frustrations and even contribute to divorce. Here is one that falls into that category. It can begin innocently but turn toxic. It’s the habit of turning outside your relationship when problems erupt. Consider Julie. She was…

Ron and Barb came to see me for a problem with their teen, but as they discussed the problem, I could tell within a  half hour that their marriage wasn’t happy. How did I know. I watched, listened and counted the number of negative and positive interactions. During the time of conflict, Ron and Barb had more negative interactions…

“We need to talk.”It might seem obvious, but people don’t do it. When you have a problem in your relationship, talk to the person in the relationship, not to your friends, family or others. Talk to the person in the relationship. If you are bothered by something, say it. There is no other way to build…

When John and Sue began to argue over a conflict involving parenting, Sue’s mom physically put herself between the two. She then quoted Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God.” Both spouses were taken aback. They were having a conflict and trying to resolve it. But Sue’s…
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