Advertisement

A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin

Hopefully he won’t make it to 40!

Question submitted via Formspring:
“I’m a 27 years old guy and have never dated and never had a girlfriend. I have been attracted to different girls throughout the years but when I expressed my interest to them they have always rejected me. I’m now wandering what is it with me? Thanks.”

We talked about this in a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters, along with: How to be happy *right now*. Plus, getting over being cheated on, if Jesus studied Buddhism, how to find love, and more!

For now, let us break this one down into pieces:
You are 27, but never dated and never had a girlfriend; we will assume that means you are a virgin, too. You’ve been attracted to girls, but got shot down every time you’ve tried; now you are wondering what the problem is.

Based on the fact that you didn’t mention any glaring personal defect, like being really short, or massively overweight, let us assume this means you are a relatively average guy. That means that your problem is almost certainly in your approach.

The first thing you need to understand is how women think. Most guys who fail on the approach do so out of insecurity; if you are too direct, or too indirect; too sexual, or not sexual enough, you’ll get nowhere. Add to that that each individual lady has her own turn on and turn offs, and the wrong move can get you friendzoned with the quickness.

Knowing that, you need to work on not figuring out what’s wrong with you now, so much as figuring out who your ideal woman is, who it is that she wants, and turning yourself into that. For now, here are a few things you can do.  First and foremost: If there is a woman that you are attracted to, listen to her.  She will tell you everything you need to know, up to and including if you have a chance or not.  Find out what she likes, what she doesn’t like, and most importantly: What she looks for in a man. You don’t necessarily have to ask directly, since it might make her uncomfortable; but if you listen to her talk about her ex-boyfriends, or even who she finds attractive, and that will give you a clue.

And above all else: respect her, and respect yourself. You never go wrong with being a gentleman, and treating a lady like a lady.  Humor is good, as is intelligence; but the most attractive thing a man can have is CONFIDENCE. Rather than focus on your shortcomings, spend some time looking at everything you have going for you now, and everything you’ve achieved up until this point.  If you aren’t proud of what you’ve done so far, set some goals and get after them; the more confident you become in who and what you are, the more that it will begin to shine through.

100 million years of evolution have equipped women with a desire to have the best mate possible (however she conceives of it, of course); and she won’t believe you are the best if you don’t!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

  • B Dave Walters

    The right one will, yes. I have a friend with Asperger’s who is very happily married.

  • Lelouch Vi Britannia

    The only question I have in place is this. Will the woman be understanding, and caring of someone like me with Asperger’s Syndrome the very thing I still work at overcoming all the time.

Previous Posts

An Eclipse, an Equinox, and a Super Moon, oh my!
Friday, March 20, 2015 will mark a very powerful alignment of energies that will burn you up if you’re not careful, or propel you like a rocket if you make use of them! Three major events are taking place, with several other events happening in the background.  First, it’s the Spring Equinox

posted 6:14:17pm Mar. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Are you growing, or just growing older?
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor

posted 4:27:15am Feb. 18, 2015 | read full post »

How to feel happy, and be at peace
“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations In my Coaching work, a question that comes up

posted 11:14:28pm Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »

How to motivate yourself…finally!
“It's a New Year and with it comes a fresh opportunity to shape our world. So this is my wish, a wish for me as much as it is a wish for you: in the world to come, let us be brave – let us walk into the dark without fear, and step into the unknown with smiles on our faces, even if we're fakin

posted 10:59:22pm Jan. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Racism and the Law of Attraction (Video)
“I love America more than any other country in the world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.” -James Baldwin Question submitted via Formspring:

posted 4:56:16am Dec. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.