Question submitted viaFormspring
“I am in love with a person. He too loves me. But he doesn’t express it the way I want. How do I make him do that?”
Well, there are at least three competing things going on here.
The first thing is, you have to understand men and how we work.
Then you have to ask if you have different personality types with different communication styles.
And then finally:
What are your expectations, and are they reasonable? You say he loves you, but ‘doesn’t express it in the way that you want'; how does he express it?
For instance, does he do nice things for you, but maybe not talk as sweetly as you’d like? Or is it the opposite, where he gives you honey words, but doesn’t take out the garbage? And more importantly, have you communicated to him that while you know he cares, you wish he would do -blank- thing for you more often? If you don’t tell him what you want, how can he know he isn’t doing it?
As for how to ‘make’ him do what you want him to do, you can’t.
You can’t MAKE anyone do anything, at least not in the long term; but you can encourage him to choose to do what you want.
Quite frankly, use bait.
If there is something you know he likes, when he does something that makes you happy: give it to him! If there is a certain part of your body he likes, wear (or don’t wear) things that accentuate it. If he has a favorite meal, cook it. Show him that when he lives up to your expectations, you’ll live up to his.
Remember, you always catch more flies with honey; and you CAN NOT nag, guilt, complain, or bully him into doing what you want.
Let him know that you understand that he cares, but that you wish he’d express it in a different way. Explain how you’d like it done, and reward him when he does. And if all else fails, have him see my article and video on Women and what you need to be happy!
Keep us posted on how it turns out.
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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