“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha
I’ve written and talked many times before now about how to use your emotions and the need for self-love but this time I’d like to dive in much deeper to really get to the heart of you.
You may have noticed, that at the end of most of my videos I sign off by saying: “you’re great, and I love you”; why do you think that is?
Because you ARE great, and I DO love you!
So the real question is: do *you * love you?
Everything we’ve talked about up until now, love, forgiveness, courage, gratitude, everything has to rest on a foundation of healthy self-love.
Because if you don’t love yourself, if you don’t truly believe you deserve all the best things in this world, how can you expect to start attracting good things?
Your subconscious mind is like a 5 year old with the mind of a super computer, it takes EVERYTHING you say about yourself 100% literally. So if you say things like “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did that” or “I’m so fat, who is going to love a cow like me”, a part of you, a massively important part of you, will believe it completely.
Your self image lives in your subconscious mind, which is the lions share of where your thinking gets done. Your subconscious controls your feelings and bodily functions, as well.
So if you are consistently filling your head with negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself, you are programming that super computer to manifest those things in your life.
The simplest way to state it, is: your thoughts lead to your feelings, you feelings lead to your actions, and your actions lead to your results.
So let’s perform a little experiment:
Go look in the mirror, and say out loud “you’re great, and I love you”.
Even if you have done it before, please go do it again.
Really, go do it; I’ll wait.
So did you do it? How did it feel? Good? Bad? Strange?
And if it felt bad, or worse you didn’t do it, that is a BIG red flag that something is wrong. If you can’t look yourself in the eye and say out loud that you love yourself, I can absolutely guarantee you aren’t happy in your life overall.
In fact, you may have a very sinking feeling that everything ‘should’ be fine, and you ‘should’ be happy, but you’re not. Looking for fulfillment outside of yourself can have some pretty devastating consequences if you aren’t careful.
So to paraphrase Emmett Fox:
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of (SELF) love will dissolve it all.
Now, let us begin building an unshakable foundation of self-love for you.
First, let me tell you what self-love is *not *. It’s not ego, it’s not vanity, it’s not a need to pull down others in an attempt to make yourself look better.
What it IS, is knowing who and what you are.
Knowing that you are made in the image and likeness of the Creator, how ever you define that. Even if you don’t believe in a ‘God’ as such, know that the chances of you even existing are astronomically high, and that you are already perfect.
First step, if you haven’t been doing this, it is a great time to start:
every time you look in the mirror, say out loud, or to yourself, ‘you’re great, and I love you’. This is an *incredibly * powerful technique, don’t underestimate it. And if you have trouble doing it, that should show you how harsh you’ve been to yourself up until now. But remember, how much you love you is the direct measurement of how much you can love anyone else or let anyone else love you. You can’t give what you don’t have, you can’t accept what you don’t believe you deserve.
Next, start being honest with yourself, truly honest.
We are going to make a list! Either take out a piece of paper, or a word document. Start by listing everything you love about yourself.
If you can’t think of a single thing, contact me at any of the places below and I’ll give you like 10 things after talking to you once!
Maybe you are loving, dedicated, sexy, fun. Maybe you can cook, fight, paint, or play the piano. Maybe you are hard working, brilliant, or strong.
Write it ALL down.
Once you have that, we’ll start with the ‘opportunities’ list.
List the things you’d like to improve about yourself, and start thinking about ways you can start to change. If you think about it, there are probably situations where your ‘weaknesses’ will actually serve you very well.
Remember: you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be better than yesterday!
But above all else, above ALL else: choose.
Decide that you are going to become your own best friend, your own number one fan. That you are going to direct your thoughts only towards what you want, and stop dwelling on what you don’t.
That you are going to focus on all that is best in you, and all you have to offer this world, and fall in love with yourself all over again.
And it’s not going to take you away from anyone, quite the opposite. The more love you give to yourself, the MORE you will have to give to those around you, and the more you’ll be able to accept.
Your whole world will change, once you start to let down those barriers.
But they can only be removed from within, no one else can make you love you.
You have to choose it for yourself.
And you’re great…and I love you!
What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!
You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!
B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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