The 5 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Communicate

“Happy marriages depend on expressing your thoughts and emotions to each other, of speaking and being heard. If not, everything else will live on shaky ground.”

To have a successful marriage you have to make yourself an expert in communicating with your spouse. You have to try to understand what your partner is saying, and sometimes not saying, as well as try to analyze the underlying message or desire.

If your spouse is trying to talk to you, whether it’s to find out what you want for dinner, to tell you about their day, or to discuss a problem in the marriage, give them the same courtesy you’d give a complete stranger, and listen! Don’t try to finish their sentences, don’t try to solve their problems, and don’t ever say, “I told you so!”

Learn to Resolve Conflicts

“Successful couples keep communicating, no matter what may be going on between them.”

An important characteristic that separates success from failure in a marriage is whether the relationship can resolve conflicts or not. Unless you and your partner are robots or doormats, there will be times when you disagree and times when these disagreements cause tension and pain.

There is no question you shouldn’t tolerate addiction, violence or abuse. But if your partner simply wants something different from you, or does something differently from you, doesn’t mean your partner is wrong – it just means your spouse has different preferences, life experiences and point of view.

Celebrate these differences. Chances are good it is these very differences that made you fall in love with this person in the first place.

Grow With Each Other

“The best gift you will ever give your spouse is the space and freedom to grow and change.”

It should come as no surprise to learn the person you married won’t be the same person you will still be married to five, 10, 20 years from now.

You will both change over time, particularly at key points in your lives such as starting a family, changing or restarting a career and facing some of life’s most challenging moments, such as the death of loved ones.

There’s no question that life isn’t static, it is very dynamic and ever-changing. Therefore, it’s reasonable to assume we will change and our marriages will change, too. Grow and develop with your partner when life provides the opportunity and sometimes demands. Chances are very good the love and commitment in your marriage will continue to develop and grow too.