8 Ways a Husband Needs Respect From His Wife

Everyone has the need for respect in their closest relationships—men and women, both. After all, what is respect but the acknowledgment of your partner’s value?

But that’s not to say that the sexes don’t prefer different aspects of respect. Men, in particular, can be prickly creatures when it comes to this, giving mixed signals as to what they truly want from you, or even giving no signals at all.

So, for the confused wives out there, how can you make sure your husbands feel truly respected?

Here’s the secret. Communicate your feelings.

It’s not quite as simple as it sounds. Respect is best received when it comes from a place of sincerity, and that sincerity must be translated into effective communication—no easy task.

And because of cultural influences, guys also tend to desire respect in very particular areas of their lives—learning which of these areas to focus on can help you finally break through to them. Let’s take a look at how to do this with these 8 ways a husband needs respect from his wife.

Let Him be Him

Shutterstock.com

When it comes to relationships, everyone needs an environment where they can be themselves. This is one of the most fundamental ways your husband needs respect.

The key to respecting your husband’s personality is learning to love him for who he is rather than who you might wish him to be. Whether he enjoys using his free time to rebuild truck engines or create oil paintings of dandelions, don’t malign him for what he loves.

Rather, ask him about his hobbies. Ask him about what he’s passionate about. You just may find yourself caught up in his enthusiasm. Going even further, ask to be included. You’re the love of his life, after all! More likely than not, he dreams of you getting involved in his passions, but thinks that you’d never go for that. Surprise him!

Of course, follow this advice within reason; if your husband’s hobbies involve something dangerous or financially irresponsible, that needs to be addressed rather than enabled. But, otherwise, if you create an environment in which your husband feels that his personality and passions are respected, he will open up to you more completely than you can imagine, and your relationship will reach new heights.

Respect Yourself

It may not sound immediately intuitive, but an important way of respecting your husband is by respecting yourself.

We’re at our best in all aspects of life when we love and respect ourselves. In a relationship, your own self-respect can make your husband feel respected because you can sincerely accept his love, praise, and devotion.

If you don’t respect yourself, and your husband tells you that you’re beautiful, what is your response? Typically, it’s a denial, such as, “Oh, I look terrible today,” or “You just want something”. His love will be met with incredulity, and his praise, with little emotion.

Work at finding the abundance of greatness and inherent human value that is within you, and realize that you are lovable, beautiful, and valuable. This is, most importantly, essential for your own wellbeing, but it also fulfills a need in your husband—the need for his expressions of love to be sincerely respected.

Work Together

Goal-setting is extremely important in any relationship, but just as important is that both partners are involved.

One of the ways in which your husband may need respect is to feel included in decisions—both long and short-term. It often happens that one party or the other, in a marriage, ends up making all the decisions. Don’t fall for the stereotype that describes men as irresponsible or uncaring when it comes to the details of life. Your husband likely wants to be included.

So when you sit down to plan out the month’s finances, have him by your side. Work together by asking his opinion—this is a great way to show respect. This tells your husband that his opinion is valued, that the unique attributes he brings to the relationship aren’t just wanted, but needed.

Most men will be incredibly happy to help, and will feel a sense of accomplishment when they’ve helped draw up that five year plan or budget. Let him know he’s valuable to keeping him involved.

Communicate Your Respect

Shutterstock.com

Some women are puzzled at the fact that their husbands don’t feel respected, even when they’re included in decisions, when their opinions are asked, and when they have room to be themselves. They’re lacking something, but they can’t quite put a finger on what.

Usually, it’s a simple communication problem!

Men are often thought of as creatures of action that don’t need much in the way of words. But here’s a tip—they do!

If you feel it, tell it. When you’re proud of your husband, tell him. When you appreciate his contributions, whether that be mowing the lawn or doing the week’s shopping or making sure you have your favorite dessert, tell him. Let your praise be known—give it form. Otherwise, he may not know how you feel.

No one is a mind-reader, so be sure to tell your husband about why you respect him. Your words are worth a thousand times more than the words of anyone else in his life.

Keep Fights Private

Shutterstock.com

Here’s a big one. Publically airing grievances isn’t helpful, and can cause embarrassment, a feeling of being disrespected, and can be a big blow to their pride.

The public doesn’t know your husband. But if they see you berating him, they’re going to assume a lot about him. And your husband knows this—he’ll feel the embarrassment of dozens of strangers uncomfortably looking on.

Rather, wait until you have access to some neutral and private space, such as your vehicle or home, to talk about the issue at hand. Even then, both parties should try to genuinely listen, avoid personal attacks, and attempt to understand one another’s viewpoints.

Choosing to take fights out of the public eye will remind your husband how much you respect him, despite the fact that the two of you may be angry at one another. Remember—anger is temporary. Don’t let it lead to a permanent pattern of disrespect.

Trust Him

Trust is key in any relationship, but it’s also an important mode of showing respect.

This one is pretty simple; if your husband is trustworthy, show that you trust him!

You can show your trust by being willing to turn important matters over to him. Unless he asks, resist the urge to explain how to do these things, or the urge to micromanage his activities. Simply trust him to take care of it.

Simple trust is one of the most essential ways in which your husbands needs to feel respected. A lack of it says “I don’t think you can do this,” which can be difficult for a man who feels the responsibility to get things done.

If there is an issue of ability, work with your husband to help him gain the skills he needs—but do it as an equal. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses—trust the one you love to be able to address their weak points, once addressed, and to turn them into his strengths.

Be True to Him

Shutterstock.com

Nothing says disrespect quite like flirting with other men.

Surprisingly, this is a common issue—many people simply don’t think that mild flirting is harmful to a relationship. They may even think it innocent fun.

But in the eyes of your husband, seeing you flirt with other men says one thing to him: “You’re not good enough for me”. If you find yourself seeking the attention of other men, ask yourself why you might need that. Is there something you’re not getting from your husband? If so, talk to him!

Guys are often very competitive with one another, adding an extra level to this layer cake of disrespect. Simultaneously feeling abandoned, while seeing another man “winning” the woman he loves is difficult to bear.

Don’t disrespect your husband—or your relationship in general—in this way. It’s fine to have male friends and acquaintances, but to cross the line into flirting—that’s taking away a large portion of the respect that your husband needs.

Stand Up For Him

Shutterstock.com

Nearly every relationship is, at times, threatened from the outside. Whether that be in the form of family or friends, there will likely come a time when someone in your life doesn’t approve of your husband or his choices, even when you do.

So what do you do?

You defend him. You stand up for him. You chose this man over every other person in the world, and in this situation, it’s time to proclaim it.

So if your father disapproves of your husband’s job, or if your friends don’t like his fashion choices or political views, stand up for him. A necessary prerequisite for this is, of course, being able to accept your husband as himself.

This, however, doesn’t mean not listening to others if your husband sincerely has destructive habits or tendencies. If you know something is wrong, take heed. But otherwise, your husband needs to feel respected by seeing you stand up for him when it is inappropriate for him to do it himself.

Do that, and he’ll feel incredibly loved and respected.