6 Ways to Give Your Husband Breathing Room

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Ladies, if you were asked what the most important thing is that’s needed to build a strong relationship, you’d likely say things like strong communication, trust, friendship respect or intimacy. While it’s true that all these criteria are key in maintaining a strong relationship, there is something equally important that most couples often overlook: giving each other breathing room. Without it, all the love, trust and friendship can begin to feel claustrophobic in the relationship. Your man needs some alone time. Having some ‘me time’ is very important for your own individual growth, well-being and peace of mind. He needs time to relax with his own set of friends, take up their favorite hobbies and just have some time to himself. This is all the more essential when you are married because you are spending most of your time with one another. Giving each other space and spending some time separately will not only allow you both to do individual activities, but will make you miss each other immensely. Here are six ways to give your husband breathing room.

Let Him Relax

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If your man is acting distant and you want him to come back to you, chasing after him plain won’t work. The best thing you can do is let him relax and give him the space he’s looking for so that he can solve whatever’s bothering him and get back to normal. If you chase him or jump on him when he’s going through something, it only pushes him further away. Instead give him the space he needs and he’ll feel your absence as soon as he solves his problem. Sometimes we get the idea that all our husbands do when they get home is lie in front of a television or computer. But it might help when we realize that sometimes the downtime is needed after a long day of physical exertion or a lot of mental work at their job.

Don’t Smother

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The idea of “smothering” our spouse might sound odd, especially when you got married so you could spend the rest of your lives in union together. But feeling smothered in your marriage is a real issue that many of us don’t want to admit. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend quality time with your husband. In fact, it’s a good thing. But it can become overwhelming when the desire feels forced or isn’t reciprocated. Smothering usually has good intentions behind it. You may be going through a phase or trial in your marriage and believe that if you spend as much time as possible together, the relationship will get better. But, if your husband feels smothered, they will begin to withdraw from you when left unchecked.

Cut the Monitoring

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Remember that before you became one in marriage, you were two independent people with independent thoughts, actions, likes and dislikes. Marriage doesn’t change thing. You like tea, he prefers coffee. You like to sleep in; he likes to get up at the crack of dawn. These same wonderful differences that caused you to fall in love with each other can be the very things that drive you apart. One way to strengthen the marriage is to cut the monitoring. Don’t micromanage him on the little stuff. As much as your husband might be annoying you, don’t forget that you may not always be peachy to live with either. Learn to have patience and understanding for each other. Remember that you are both human and therefore wonderfully and perfectly flawed.

Leave it For Later

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How awesome would it be if you could walk through the door after work, shed the stress of your day, and immediately launch into some quality bonding time with your mate? Unfortunately, this isn’t the set of The Brady Bunch. Research shows that the hour after you get home from your job is a dicey time for couples – it’s often marked by moodiness and bickering, especially nowadays with job satisfaction at record lows. Throw in a terrible commute, a growling stomach and a few buzzing gadgets reminding you of tomorrow’s to-do list and the phrase ‘Honey, I’m home’ seems more like a warning than a greeting. Learning to navigate the after-work hour together can help you build a stronger union. In fact, couples who deal with stress together are happier in their relationships than couples who don’t handle the daily grind as a pair.

Don’t Hover

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We’ve all seen those clingy, hovering helicopter moms on the playground or at the school drop-off. These are the moms who seem to spend every waking moment with their little ones. And every sleeping moment too, for that matter. There are so many of them these days, they’ve even coined a phrase to describe the phenomenon: attachment parenting. This philosophy doesn’t just apply to kids. There are plenty of clingy, hovering, ever-present spouses too. You’ve certainly spotted these pairs among your friends or neighbors. It’s like they can’t stand to be away from each other. Some people adoringly call them "inseparable" while others call it "needy." While some couples thrive in attachment marriages, this kind of relationship doesn’t work for everyone. In fact, for some, that kind of bond kills the marriage. Your husband needs breathing room.

Lighten Up the List

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Axe his “to-do” list. This list is one many couples are familiar with. It often includes household repairs, delegated responsibilities with the kids, things to pick up from the store on the way home and so on. Most men expect them and some even ask for them. But the truth is no man wants to come home to a list being thrown in his face. Once he has his list, he needs a little breathing room to accomplish the items on it. You should avoid putting unnecessary demands on him. Give him time to complete the tasks on his list and be mindful of the fact that other things may have come up during the day that have stopped him from being able to complete the tasks by that moment.