A Business Approach to Family Life

Treat Me Like a Customer

Helpful tips to balance work and family life

All of us have customers. As a businessman, the people I work with daily and have the privilege of serving are my customers. Many of us have another type of customer: a supervisor, a board, or another authority we report to. They are like customers because we depend on them for our jobs and therefore do our best to deliver the results they expect.

You will have a better marriage and family by treating your wife [or husband] and kids as if they were your customers. Regardless of your profession, if you put these skills to work in your marriage - just as you do at work - you will have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your spouse.

By Louis Upkins Jr.

Buy Louis Upkins Jr's exciting new book "Treat Me Like a Customer" and check out more at www.louisupkins.com

Communication Strategies

Just as poor communication sends a message to your business customers that you don't value them, lack of communication in your marriage gives your wife [or husband] that same message. And as your wife [or husband] observes you checking business email at home and texting customers at your daughter's concert, she [or he] begins to feel less and less important to you. It is often the little things we do that say the most and give us an A+ in communication. Small improvements will come even if all you do is try to check in more often.

What you can do:

- Leave a note on her pillow when you leave on a trip
- Call when you leave the office to ask if she needs you to pick anything up on the way home
- Text [him] from an important meeting [he] knows you stayed up late to prepare for

World-Class Customer Service

You don't have to take exceptional measures to give your loved ones great customer service. Just pay attention to the way you serve your customers. Imagine what would happen if you took the list of "little things" and made them a priority with your wife [or husband] and family.

What you can do:

- Return calls promptly [to your spouse and children]
- See every interaction with them as an opportunity to win them over with kindness, friendliness, and politeness
- Never take them for granted
- Listen carefully when they talk to you and look them in the eyes so they know you care about what they are saying
- Turn off the cell. When you get home from work, turn it off, or at least dicipline yourself to let incoming calls go to your voice mail
- Look for ways to compliment [your spouse and children]

When Your Customer Gets Upset

There's nothing wrong with a good fight in marriage. You disagree over something. You both state your case and go back and forth and then somehow resolve it. That's what I mean by a good fight. But too many couples use tactics when they fight that make things worse and stand in the way of any kind of peaceful resolution. For example, consider the following examples of how some couples disagree with each other and then ask yourself, Would I ever do this at work?

What you should NOT do in a fight:

- Use sarcasm
- Talk over your opponent
- Name-calling
- Yelling and screaming
- Silent treatment
- Walking out and slamming the door

Success Goes Both Ways

Win-win at work means growing your business by helping your customers succeed. It means resolving conflicts so that both you and your customer gain more than you lose. It doesn't mean letting your customer win at your expense; it means having a mutually positive experience.

At home, win-win means enabling your wife [or husband] and children to be as successful as you are, being willing to sacrifice some of what's important to you in favor of what's important to them. And as you negotiate the daily conflicts that are normal in every family, it means trying to find solutions that address your family's needs rather than fighting only for what is important to you.

Celebrate Your Success

When you think of celebrations in your family, you usually think of birthdays and anniversaries. Those are all great opportunities to celebrate. But don't let those be your only occasions to celebrate. Most families miss the almost daily opportunities to turn everyone's attention toward what is good and honorable.

Reasons to celebrate:

- Good grades
- No cavities
- Loser day. If Mom or Dad is on a diet and makes some progress, pour everyone a tall glass of water and hand them a carrot stick.
- Firsts. First day of school. First Communion. First day of a new job. First snow. First bike ride without training wheels.
- Big accomplishments
- Little accomplishments