10 Relationship Killers

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Relationships can be challenging even under the best of circumstances. Relationships demand care and they require balance. In general, a lot of attention is put into a relationship in the beginning stages and over time that can wax and wain.

The relationship matures and the focus moves towards individual pursuits of work, hobbies, education, etc. The relationship tends to get busy with life in general. However, in order to truly succeed at any of these things, it is crucial to have a healthy foundation at home. It is somewhat illogical to place more importance on external objectives when internal needs must be met in order to thrive.

There are many things necessary in the care of a relationship. There are also many things that can punch a relationship and knock it off balance. It is important to recognize these dangers as there are already plenty of everyday life challenges that can derail a relationship. A relationship has the best chance for healthy survival when it is firmly rooted in faith. Faith not only grounds it, but promotes the type of spiritual behavior that reminds individuals how to treat one another.

Take care to avoid the following ten relationship killers.

Roles

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The more relationships evolve into husband and wife rather than friends, equals, and teammates, the more the equilibrium is lost. It can evolve into stereotyping one another. It can also lead to gender-based indulgence abuse trying to show the wife that one deserves more camping, fishing, and golfing trips - or show the husband that he should put up with too many shopping sprees, spa days, etc. Roles are equally as tricky when it comes to division of labor in a relationship, i.e., one spouse is supposed to clean up after the other, etc. Roles can eventually lead to too much division between wife and husband and one person with too much power and the other spouse powerless. It is extremely difficult to navigate role based relationships unless there is a tremendous amount of respect and good communication in the relationship.

Comparisons

Comparisons can destroy a relationship. It is also immature and controlling to play a constant game of tit for tat. This type of relationship can become an exhausting exercise of comparisons. It can lead to a constant back and forth positioning for power. A spouse who enjoys a night out is met by their spouse demanding their own night out in return. A significant other makes a purchase and now their partner mandates an immediate purchase of their own. It is a continual equalizing of a relationship when in fact, it is little more than a power play by one spouse or the other or sometimes both. Life isn’t always fair, relationships aren’t always fair, it’s a give and take and one has to be mature enough to realize it will all come out in the wash.

Family Conflicts

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It is essential that each spouse ensures their family respect and treat their spouse well. This responsibility falls squarely on the individual whose family it is. There is zero excuse to permit a family member to mistreat a spouse. It is not only hurtful and disrespectful, but it can severely undermine a relationship. Furthermore, if it is permitted and continually ignored it can lead to long-term resentments, continued arguments and more. In actuality, very little family drama from either side of the family should be allowed into the relationship. It will throw the relationship off center and become more about one spouse’s or both spouses families. It should, in fact, be about the two individuals in the relationship.

Disrespectfulness

Relationships erode in an environment of disrespectfulness. Respect begets respect and therefore, a lack of respect eventually leads to an unhealthy and chaotic communication style. The negative behavior that accompanies disrespectfulness includes arguing, name calling, defensiveness, yelling and more. It is self-explanatory that none of these are positive additions to a relationship nor do they promote conflict resolution. The other core problem with a lack of respect is that it does not allow an individual their own truth and experiences. A person needs to thrive personally in order to thrive in a partnership. A lack of respect is one of the most undignified manners in which a spouse suffers - or to rephrase it - it is one of the most undignified behaviors that spouses tolerate in one another.