10 Red Flags of an Emotional Affair
Red Flag #1: You Think or Say, "We're Just Friends."
If you have caught yourself thinking or saying, "but we're just friends," you are probably already in trouble. "But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Rationalize might also be spelled "rational lies."
Red Flag #2: You Daydream About Him or Her
This should be a loud, screaming clue. Do you think and daydream about your "regular" friends in this way?
Red Flag #3: You Look Forward to Seeing Him or Her
If you feel excitement, anticipation, or a quickening of your pulse as you get ready to see the person, watch out.
Red Flag #4: You Want to Tell Them News First
This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.
Red Flag #5: You Share Intimate Emotions
This flows naturally from this person being your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than purely physical ones, you can get trapped right here.
Red Flag #6: You Share Intimate Problems
This practice is especially dangerous if you are sharing problems in your marriage or relationship with the other person.
Red Flag #7: You Believe He or She Understands You More Than Your Spouse
Of course it looks like they do. That is part of the illusion of the affair. Believing this draws you away from your partner and toward the other person.
Red Flag #8: You Keep Secrets and Cover Up
Secrets bond two people together against a third person.
Red Flag #9: You Give Gifts
Are you giving gifts you would not normally give to a friend? Things to wear, jewelry, and other intimate gifts come with a message: we are very close.
Red Flag #10: You Spend More Time Alone
So many people say this was the one that pushed them over the edge. They had promised themselves nothing would happen, but the temptation and availability of time alone - with the person just a phone call away - was too much to resist.