6 Tips to Reduce Conflict with an Ex Over Kids

When Dan and Karla split up a year ago, their children were very upset. Little four-year-old Jenna had an especially difficult time and cried for weeks. It was heartbreaking to watch the children try to deal with the loss of the marriage. Most of you are concerned about the effects of divorce on the adjustment of your children. You want to do whatever possible to help them adjust. You already feel guilty for putting them through the ordeal of divorce.

A good place to begin is to focus on reducing the conflict between you and your ex-spouse. I know you are thinking, “If I could do this, I wouldn’t be divorced!” Possibly, but you still have to work on conflict for the sake of your kids. And the more you work on it, the more you model conflict resolution skills for your children. So here are six tips to help you work on conflict resolution with an ex.

Resolve Unresolved Feelings Toward Ex

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Divorce ends the marriage, but not the negative feelings surrounding both the divorce and the relationship. If you carry unresolved feelings into the post divorce phase, they are bound to come out around the children. So the tip here is to try to resolve whatever unresolved feelings remain towards your ex. It’s time to bury the multiple hatchets. Often this requires forgiveness. Reconciliation requires the participation of two people, but forgiveness is an individual act. It is a gift you give yourself because it frees you up and allows you to move forward. Whatever the unresolved issue, time to let it go. Forgive, let go and move on.