6 Reasons to Fear Leaving a Narcissist

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves a person with an over-inflated sense of self and an inability to feel other people’s pain. Unfortunately, narcissists are often charming, good looking and successful individuals which makes them extremely confusing to the world at large. They appear to be pleasant, productive and engaging people.

This is why narcissism may be one of the most acceptable mental health disorders. There is the outside world who believes the narcissist to be one person and the families that live with them who know the other person. Another way to phrase this? There is a Jekyll to the Hyde.

The most significant deficit in the narcissistic individual is the inability to feel empathy. Empathy is a development state that one learns in childhood. Therefore, it makes it nearly impossible to reach this type of personality even in counseling because they live in their own perception of reality. It is only their reality. It does not involve the joy, pain, worries, suffering, etc. of any other individual beyond themselves.

A narcissist is an extremely difficult personality to live with; however, they are even more difficult to escape. They can escalate when an individual dares to leave or divorce them.

They Lack Empathy

The spouse of a narcissist will most definitely feel a lack of empathy in the relationship. In fact, what they may describe is a sense of loneliness in the relationship, yet not be able to pinpoint where it is coming from. It stems from being with a person who is living in their own world with little time for the person they have attached themselves to.

Initially, a significant other may have felt some sense of companionship and engagement with the narcissist so they will have a difficult time identifying where the relationship went wrong.

Make no mistake about it, by the time they decide the loneliness and lack of empathy is more than they can bear, the narcissist will be in full swing.

They will not only endanger a spouse who is leaving or divorcing them, they will endanger their children as well. They will feel little to no need to provide financial or emotional support for their family and worse.

They Are Bullies

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Narcissists may appear to be confident, but they are anything but high in self-esteem. The grandiose sense of self and entitlement they portray is a smoke screen for a fragile ego. Therefore, like all good self-loathing bullies they play the part well.

They will repeatedly go after a spouse. It is a game of cat and mouse. Sadly, the bully will not be easily shut down as some of their immediate family is equally as narcissistic and their friends will be oblivious in some ways because they see only the charming boy not the true bully or ‘boyly.’

Just like all expert bullies they will act coy in public and go after their target when unsupervised on the playground.

They Will Use Their Own Children

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A narcissist will use and confuse their own children. This bears repeating, they will ‘use and confuse’ their own children if it serves their purpose. Remember: A narcissist does not feel empathy. They will not worry about their children or how this will affect them.

If turning a child against the other parent suits their purpose. They will do it.

If not paying for one of their children’s expenses or education will upset their spouse, they will do it.

If not paying for groceries or the mortgage hurts their spouse, they will do it.

They will not feel the pain of even their own children. Sadly, they do not have the ability to do so.

They will use their own children if it means they can manipulate the outcome that they want.

They Live In Their Own Perception of Reality

Narcissists live in their own perception of reality. What is even worse? They actually believe their own perception of reality and because of this, anyone listening to them will believe it.

There will be friends and shockingly, in some cases, family members who believe the narcissists version of events as a spouse tries to leave them.

A narcissist is abusive. They will stoop to whatever means possible to prove and justify their own perception of reality. They are complicated and insecure. One of the most frightening aspects of a narcissist is that they walk amongst society not always detectable projecting an outwardly positive demeanor while living in a false perception of reality.

A narcissist is a damaged individual. They are so broken that they will attempt to break the person they are with or leaving in order to make themselves feel grandiose and in control. Like all master bullies they will domineer in an abusive manner so that they feel they are the alpha of the pack.

There are some theories that believe that narcissists aren’t actually insecure, but may, in fact, be the overly inflated egos that they present.

However, common sense dictates otherwise. Confident people do not behave this way. They feel too good about themselves to be abusive to others. More importantly, the most flagrant deficit of the narcissist is that they lack empathy and that is they key component to the cold, ruthless, personality that has little need for others.

A narcissist is scary just like all bullies. Expose them, like any other bully and they lose their power.