10 Inspiring Quotes to Heal From Divorce by Colleen Sheely Orme l Divorce Advice l How to Overcome an Affair l Tips to Getting Over an Affair l Affairs and Divorce

Change is Difficult

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” - Shannon L. Alder

Change is difficult. It is the unknown, the uncertain, and the unpredictable. It evokes a lack of security and safety. So much so that many will choose to stay in a terrible situation because it is certain. It is far more comfortable than boarding a flight of freedom towards an uncharted locale. It takes confidence and bravery to reclaim one's self-respect and worth. To remember that no individual deserves to stay unhappy, sad, mistreated, ignored, bullied, unloved or discontent. People who choose divorce, do so because they have reclaimed their worth and realize that change is the price of freedom.

Social Stigma

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“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” - Jennifer Weiner

Despite the fact that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, a societal stigma still exists. Many believe the theory that staying together for the sake of the children is far better than dissolving a marriage. Is it really? It is well proven that often children go out and duplicate the relationship modeled by their parents. The love given to and showed to children is paramount to a parent. Why then, would compromising on the type of love displayed be the proper thing to demonstrate? Children should witness the highest form of healthy love -- unconditional love between spouses.

Emotional Toll

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“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” -Shannon L. Alder

Divorce is not fair. Often in the divorce process not only are spouses not fair, but neither is the court system. There isn't enough time or money for the legal system to adequately absorb what is happening between two individuals. It comes down to the logistics of custody and financial distribution. Emotion is absent from the courts. So it's imperative for divorcing spouses to find peaceful respite within. An individual should process, forgive and heal the heartache. Regardless of the fact that many divorces seem to be about money, the emotions are by far the most costly aspect of divorce.

Realize You Deserve Better

“Once you realize you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever.” - www.livelifehappy.com

In the throws of marital discord, the emotions are strong and highly connected. The love for a spouse can make an individual blind. Once the emotion is taken out of the relationship they can see. Consequently, it is difficult for many to understand or grasp that they deserve better while still deeply in love and in a bad marriage. Additionally, in many troubled relationships, enablers put up with bad behavior and then make excuses for it. The process of divorcing allows a distance that is often necessary to realize one deserves much better. Not only in a spouse, but 'love.’

Loss of a Being

“In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder.” - Fulton J. Sheen

Marriages start off will two independent individuals. Then over time, there is a waxing and waning of individual independence. Ultimately, that dance turns the two hearts into one great choreographed, marital dance. The independent spouses now have increasingly common thoughts and become more alike in their ideologies, tastes, habits, etc. So essentially, an entire person or heart has been lost in order to create one. This makes it impossible to let go of another. It is difficult to once again regain individual heart and being. It is the loss of a friendship and a whole being that two individuals created.

Moving On

“Just move on. Sometimes, you have to give up on people, not because you don’t care anymore, because they don’t.” - www.quotesfrenzy.com

People will frequently stay in unhappy marriages. They do so because they have a confidence, a misplaced optimism and belief in a spouse that has no intention of working on the broken relationship. What further elongates the troubled, marital, marathon? A pleaser and a fixer. This overly caring personality has spent their entire lives never giving up and making everything right. Therefore, they marry someone who is quite the opposite. It is a selfish personality that cares more about themselves than their spouse. It's a hard reality to understand. That it is possible to have married someone who doesn't care.

Life After Divorce

“There is beauty in feeding others when you are spiritually or physically hungry yourself. ” - Lisa Donovan

Divorce is a consuming process. The heartache, dynamics and general misery of the divorce process are overwhelming enough to create a strong self-focus. Add the grief process and an individual’s world can temporarily become quite self-centered. Then there are the children who are suffering as well. They need and deserve the most focus. All of this combined creates a need to make a divorcing family's world small in order to cope. Conversely, taking the time to step outside of it provides a reminder and a grace that there is a world outside of divorce. It can be a centering remedy.