5 Easy Ways to Convince People to Like You

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Everyone wants to be liked. Humans are a social species, so it is normal and natural to want your extended family, coworkers, neighbors and even complete strangers to like you. That said, it is not always easy to make a good impression on a complete stranger, and, in some ways, it can be harder to continue making good third or fourth impressions on a new coworker. Inevitably, you will make a mistake, and put your foot in your mouth. You could end up inquiring about your new neighbor’s sister, only for him to remind you that he has not spoken to his sister in years. You might ask your coworker how her children’s team did at the state swim meet, only for her to look at you blankly and remind you that she does not have children.

Putting your foot in your mouth does not have to be the end of a person’s good impression of you, but it is important to make sure you work to minimize such mistakes. Getting off on the right foot with your new neighbor or coworker will help guarantee that they will cut you some slack when you make a mistake. Here are five easy ways to convince people to like you.

Make Eye Contact

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This is perhaps the most basic way of showing that you care about what a person is saying. You do not have to stare deeply into your new coworker’s eyes, and you probably should not do so anyway. At best you will come off as “intense;” more likely, you will be labeled “creepy.” So, avoid boring a hole into your conversation partner’s face with your eyes, but do make it a point to look at them.

If you want people to like you, you need to show that you are paying attention to them. Put down your phone instead of trying to text and carry on a conversation at the same time. Focus on the person you are eating lunch with instead of watching the basketball game over their shoulder. No one wants to feel like they are boring their conversation partner. When you spend the whole conversation with one eye on your phone, you are sending the message that you find the other person dull. The new neighbor you half-ignored in favor of scrolling through Instagram is unlikely to have a good impression of you. At best, they will think you are awkward or distractible. More likely, however, they will simply find you to be rude.

Remember Their Name

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Some people can be introduced to forty strangers and remember every one of those stranger’s names a week later. Other people take six weeks to learn the names of their future in-laws. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, remembering names is an important part of convincing people to like you. Those who are terrible at learning names will not like hearing it, but it is true. No one likes to feel like they were forgettable. If you are constantly forgetting your neighbors’ names, they may well think you found them to be unmemorable. Worse, those around you could think you simply cannot be bothered to put in the effort to remember their names. This leaves the people you are trying to make a good impression on thinking that you are either too lazy to learn someone’s name or too rude to care. Neither one of these impressions will endear you to those around you.

Listen Instead of Hearing

If you are multitasking while someone is talking to you, you are not really listening. You might be hearing what the person has to say, but you are not really taking in the person’s words or processing what they are saying. The vast majority of the conversation is going in one ear and out the other. You might be answering their questions or replying to their statements, but the odds are good that you will not remember much of the conversation later. Furthermore, your conversation partner is going to notice that you are not really present.

To convince someone to like you, focus on what the other person is saying. Pay attention to not just their words, but their body language, their tone of voice and their facial expressions. Ask questions as well. Most people enjoy talking about themselves or voicing their opinions. Give those around you the chance to explain their thoughts. Open ended questions are also a great way to keep conversations going or to get someone talking again after a natural lull. Thoughtful questions will also give other people the sense that you care about what they think, something that will help endear you to those around you.

Open Body Language

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Only 7 percent of communication is contained in the actual words you say. The other 93 percent is composed of nonverbal cues such as facial expression, tone of voice and, of course, body language. Your body language makes up 55 percent of face-to-face communication. This is why the ultimate test for fluency in a second language is having a phone conversation in the new language and also why so many job seekers report that they had trouble getting a read on their interviewer during a phone interview.

Given how much is conveyed through your body language, it is no surprise that standoffish or aggressive body language will leave those around you with a poor impression of you. To make people like you, make sure your body language is open. Do not cross your arms and, if you are taller than the other person, do not loom over them. Face the person you are speaking to, and relax your face. No one looks approachable when they are frowning or clenching their jaw. When in doubt, keep your posture loose and smile like you mean it.

Admit to Mistakes

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This may or may not be something to worry about when you meet someone for the first time, but this is undoubtedly important when you are trying to make a good fourth or fifth impression. Arrogance is one of the least attractive traits on the planet, and no one wants to spend time with someone who has an inflated ego. Admitting when you are wrong will help you avoid giving off the impression that you have a big head or that you are a know-it-all. Acknowledging that you made a mistake will leave people with a much better impression of you than if you make excuse after excuse about why something was not your fault. Most people will not like you if they think you always have to be right. Admitting you were wrong, however, will leave people with the impression that you are confident and honest. They will see that you did not try to hide your mistake and were confident enough to admit it. Projecting confidence and honesty will go a long way to making people like you.