8 Things Your Child Needs to Know About Sex

Ready to Talk to Your Kids About Sex? Here are 9 Things They Should Know.

It is impossible to escape the topic of sex in our culture. Children’s exposure to the topic sex is lurking around every corner and is a prevalent topic in playground banter. The simple truth is this: there is no better person that they can learn this from than you, the parent. There are many layers of this conversation with your child, that should take place over all stages of their childhood and adolescence. Talking to your kids about the reproductive cycle may seem like one of the more challenging aspects of this discussion (and you should consider educating them on it during elementary school years), but there is really something most important to this conversation than simply the act of sex. Sex is not just a physical act, but an emotional one and one they will be faced with sooner than you’d like to acknowledge. It’s vitally important that they begin to get an understanding of the sensitive and complicated nature of something that God so beautifully designed.

"Sooner Than Later"

According to the Guttmacher Institute, 16% of American teens have sex by their 15th birthday and 2% of them have had it by the time they reach 12 years of age. As a parent, it’s difficult to wrap your mind around your child becoming "enlightened" on such topic at an early age, but it’s quite important that parents acknowledge that sex and the discussion of sex amongst classmates happens at a disturbingly young age, and it’s best not to wait too long. Again, this conversation should be considered an "ongoing dialogue" taking place over many years. Otherwise, hitting them with all the details could very well overwhelm them and cause them to find it very difficult to discuss.

"Open Door Policy"

Establish that they can come to you for anything. A lot of parents think that the best way to control sexual behavior with their children is with formal punishments. Many times, this is a less-effective approach. If they haven’t had a chance to seriously talk with you about the subject so they have a good understanding, they will likely only see you as an irrational authoritative figure when punished or grounded. This is the best time to help them to understand why they will want to carefully consider these behaviors, not just because "I told you so." Remind them of things they might experience: pregnancy, STD’s, a bad reputation, their own personal feelings of shame and guilt, etc. You can certainly take disciplinary action if they don’t obey the rules you’ve set in place, but just keep in mind that a punishment can possibly push them further from you in being honest about the topic of sex. Make sure they understand your rules and what the consequences will be if they break them.