Single life can be extremely lonely and depressing. While seeing the happiness of our friends who have found compatible significant others is wonderful, it has the ability to make us feel discontented with our own single lives. We wonder what’s wrong with us and what we’re missing out on. Why can’t we find a person who can make us just as happy as those who we know in relationships around us? Many of us have spent our fair share of time wallowing in moments like this; the “jealousy” phase is one we all go through. Being single can be a phase, sometimes one that comes around a few times. That’s OK. The truth is, being single isn’t all that bad. During your singleness journey, you can experience positive changes in your life that can make you feel more fulfilled and also prepare you for a healthy, solid romantic relationship. Single life doesn’t have to be a lonely or make you unhappy. While you’re waiting on “The One” here are a few simple ways to make your single years significant:
Take Care of Yourself
Taking good care of yourself is so important during your single years, but it may seem like a full time job. Neglecting that job though can harm your confidence, relationships and enjoyment in life. It’s important that you take care of yourself as it ensures a happier and healthier life. You can start taking care of yourself by having a good attitude. You can start fueling this by doing activities that are good not only for the body, but also for the soul. Go for a run. Take a long hike. Go to a yoga class that you never had time to go to. Meditate. Take a nap in the sun or in the shade. Taking care of yourself isn’t just an outside thing. It means on the inside too. If you always feel negative, consider getting help to change this approach, whether it be via therapy, reading books or spending time around more upbeat people.
Make Time for Self Reflection
All the energy you spend on dating, thinking about dating, or making it work with a significant other can be used to make things work with yourself. Time to simply be with yourself is so important because it teaches you the things you like and truly want to do. Understanding who you are is a necessity for a healthy relationship for the future. How can you communicate your needs to another person if you don’t know what they are?
Don’t be afraid to treat yourself. Take yourself out on your perfect date. Go out to your favorite restaurant, order exactly what you want to eat, and even order a glass of red wine. Buy yourself a new outfit. Go to a bookstore and buy a new book you’ve been dying to read. Take yourself to a show this weekend – music, theater, comedy – whatever you love most. Go to a movie by yourself and sit in the exact seat you want to sit in. Go on an adventure to a place you’ve never been before. Knowing you can do these things alone is so empowering. It can also be a lot of fun too.
Build Your Confidence
In addition to self reflection, you can grow your confidence when you’re not in a relationship. You no longer have a significant other picking you up when you’re down and telling you how nice you look on a given day. In single life, you’re responsible for picking yourself up and learning how to feel attractive without the approval of someone you’re interested in or with. If you become an optimist and feel good about yourself, you are more likely to make someone else feel good about themselves in the future. One of the most attractive things about a person is their self-confidence. If you use your single life to grow this, then you are actually helping your future romantic life. It is never healthy to need someone else’s compliments to make you happy.
Deepen Your Relationship with God
For starters, being single can allow you to deepen your relationship with God. Of course, it is possible to grow and maintain a deep faith while you are with someone – and this person should help support that – but it is often easier to do so while you’re not distracted or thinking about dating. When you aren’t focused on romance, you can find more time to focus on important things like prayer and finding grace in daily life. Single life provides space and time to think about faith and growing in it.
Next, wait in peace and hope. Read one verse over your heart a day, and just meditate on God’s promises already spoken over your life. That will fill you up with joy, with hope and with an excitement that you’re in God’s will and it is good. Remember that God is not sometimes in control but always in control. There is nothing too great for Him. The Bible tells us, “Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Keep God first because it’s the greatest thing you can do. Though you may feel that ache and longing for someone, believe that Jesus will always be enough to satisfy you every day. Finally, feel at peace with who you are, where you are and where you’re going. Have full belief in the faithfulness of our mighty God to give you all your heart desires and more.
While relationships provide a lot of great things, the beauty of single life is that it allows you to be flexible and intentional. In a relationship, you are splitting half of yourself and in single life, you’re only focusing on one thing: you. Being single through self reflection, building confidence and deepening faith can prepare you for an amazing relationship in the future.