Life is a journey that is filled with so many events and circumstances that are out of our control. It is filled with seasons of great wins and victories that we celebrate along the way. Life is also filled with seasons of defeat, discouragement, and despair that can often lead us to develop a victim mentality. It's how we deal with the hard times that will empower us to bounce back and continue the journey of life with great expectations.
When we see ourselves as a victim, it usually leads us into a place of pity. Before long, we are throwing an exclusive pity party with the usual guests.
Pity Party Guest List:
- Woe is me
These emotions on the pity party guest list are only there to ensure that you keep the party going as long as you can. They love it when the party continues to go on because they are in their happy place of keeping you stuck in self-pity. Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be sad or mad when you're going through a difficult time. Those are natural emotions that we all go through and can be very valid in a bad season. You must allow yourself time to go through the emotional part of a rough season, however, just be careful that the time doesn't evolve into a pity party.
Whether you are a fan of Mr. T or not, you are probably familiar with his famous one-liner; "I pity the fool." He would probably even go so far as to say, "I pity the fool who throws a pity party," in that mean, Mr. T's voice.
Self-pity can be self-destructive. You have no time to throw a pity party. You might be down, but you are not out. Get up and keep moving forward.
Here are seven good reasons to not throw a pity party.
It causes you to think that the situation is worse than it really is.
A pity party can only magnify your perception of your circumstances. It makes a mountain out of a molehill. It will make you think that everything is bad and will only get worse for you. It leaves you with no hope for a better tomorrow.
It gives you a victim mentality.
You soon think that everybody and everything is against you. You start blaming others for your circumstances. It's a party that quickly turns into the blame game. As long as you are blaming others, you will not be motivated to take personal responsibility to change your circumstances.
Blaming others is like holding a burning coal in your hand, and being mad at the person that started the fire.
It attracts other self-pity people to your party.
Instead of encouraging you, they add to your "woe is me" attitude. At a time where you need someone to push you into your future, you will find yourself surrounded by those that will only keep you wallowing in your misery. Never forget the old saying that misery loves company.
It doesn't allow you to see the silver lining in your situation.
You become so focused on the negative that you are blinded to the good things that are happening around you right now. Pity prevents you from seeing all the blessings that are still in your life.
You become "Inward Focused," instead of "Outward Focused."
You never attempt to help others because you are so focused on you. One of the quickest ways to be encouraged is to reach out and encourage others. It feels good to make other people feel good.
It prolongs your forward progress.
You are so busy wallowing in the disappointment of yesterday that you can't gain traction to start moving forward. Once you throw a pity party, it creates a slippery slope with no promise of progress. A pity part will keep you stuck in the painful past of yesterday.
It distracts you from your future.
There are more opportunities just waiting for you to reach out and grab them. If you are stuck in a pity party, you just might miss your moment because you are looking back at what was or what could have been.
A pity party should never be on your top ten list of parties to host or attend. Nothing good ever comes out of a pity party. When you find yourself going through a rough season, you must remember that no season lasts forever. Don't get permanently stuck in a temporary bad season. You must believe that things will change and that this too shall pass.
Your belief in a better tomorrow will be the fuel that keeps you from the temptation of throwing the everlasting pity party that keeps you stuck.
"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed;
we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4: 8-9
If you're going through a rough season right now, then it's time to make a decision of where you want to be in your life.
Do you want to stay stuck in self-pity?
Do you want to stay a victim so you can keep blaming others?
Do you want to give up and quit?
Do you want to see your situation change for the good?
Do you want to see a brighter future?
Do you want to see yourself move forward into a better season?
If you're ready to see change, or if you're ready to shut down that pity party, then you've got some work to do.
- It's time to set your mind on bouncing back.
- Start dreaming again about the future you want.
- Say goodbye to yesterday and expect a brighter tomorrow.
- Surround yourself with people who will push you forward.
- Disconnect from anyone or anything that leads to self-pity.
- Embrace change because it can bring about your desired outcome.
Once you shut down the pity parties that you have hosted, then the possibilities become limitless. There is a sense of restored faith and expectation that something good is about to happen for you. Your future success is awaiting your arrival. Stay on the journey of life and continue to fight the good fight of faith.
Your next days will be your best days.