Recently I have had a dilemma I'm trying to resolve, a weekend in the near future where I have conflicting demands and values, and need to be in two places at the same time. I have agonized over this decision because my intuition is not giving me a clear answer and I haven't felt that there was a win-win solution. If I do one thing, I'm letting down a bunch of people. If I do the other, I'm also missing the mark. Either way I feel like a loser, not a winner. And so I have yet to make this decision, although I must in the next few days. I've prayed, asked friends for advice, looked at the universe for a clear sign of which way to go, and visualized both alternatives to get a feeling for which choice leaves me with the best feeling inside.
This morning I got an e-mail that directly addresses this dilemma. This message reminded me that, whenever possible, you must search for a solution that doesn't force you to be a loser no matter what you decide to do, but rather, allows you and others in your life to be winners:
You are driving along on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who is sick and about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man or woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to pick up, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she needs to get to a hospital right away; or you could take the old friend because he/she once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him/her back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Think before you continue reading. . .
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations and think outside the box.
Moral: You are not always the victim in life; most of the time you are the victor looking at the situation from the wrong view! The view is yours to choose.
Source: The Enlightened Millionaire Eagles program
If, like me, you are looking at a decision that makes you feel forced to choose between plan A or plan B, and neither plan by itself seems like the right decision, stretch your mind to consider plans C or D that might enable you to move away from the forced choice between two alternatives, to a third option that solves the problem in a whole new way. The key is to stop telling yourself that you must choose between A and B. Believe that there is a solution you haven't yet thought of, which will enable you to feel good about your choice, and then search for what it is. It might just end up being better than A or B ever could have been by itself.