A woman's decision to have an abortion is always a stressful decision, made under the pressure of time and often shrouded in secrecy and shame. Most abortions occur in the first trimester—only a few weeks or a few days after medical confirmation of the pregnancy. Women are urged to complete the procedure quickly and it can be a rushed, scary process.
As with any decision we make in life, there is a chance that one day we will regret it. This is also the case for some women who have had abortions, and it can be a difficult journey to navigate. Feeling guilty and shameful can make it hard to ever learn how to forgive.
One thing we as Christian women can take comfort in knowing is that Jesus Christ is there by our sides, ready to show us love, compassion, and kindness when we cannot do it ourselves.
If you are feeling lost, know that Christ has something to say to you.
You are not alone.
Even when you've turned off your phone and locked yourself in a dark closet to cry by yourself, you are not alone. Hebrews 13:5 says "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." You might be thinking to yourself, "if Jesus care so much, He would have stopped me from this pain." However that is not true. While you might feel frustrated over the very uncomfortable situation you’re being forced to deal with, Jesus is actually pursuing your long-term comfort through that very situation. He is there, working hard to give you peace, inspiration and hope. He is sitting next to you, holding your hand through the pain.
Jesus Christ also can share with you that you are not the only women who has ever gone through this type of pain. There are many women across the globe that have also had abortions they later regretted, and are struggling with the same internal battle as you. There are many support groups available for women like you. God works in mysterious ways and its quiet the possibility that He would work through others to show you how to forgive yourself. Consider reaching out to someone that has been through the same thing.
I still love you.
Sometimes we can't help but wonder: Does God really love me? Even when I feel unloved and unlovable? Even when I really mess up? However God does love you, no matter what. This really does mean no matter what. Regardless of any sin you have committed, God still sees you as one of His beloved children. 1 Timothy 1:15-16 says "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."
You are not going to be banned from heaven, you are not going to be left alone, and you are not going to receive the wrath of God. God won’t suddenly make it so you cannot have other children down the line, or serve you a type of punishment for having an abortion. Indeed it is quite the opposite. God is trying to show you His love now more than ever, so that you can find comfort. He wants you to still go to church and be a part of His community.
It is good to grieve.
Many women believe that because they chose to have an abortion, they therefore can't grieve the loss of the baby. They believe that since they felt some sort of relief immediately after the abortion that any negative feelings down the line are invalid. Some think it’s a grief that should be ignored or discounted all together, but God thinks the opposite. God knows and understands how incredibly emotional this experience is. You might be feeling depression, loneliness, hopelessness, isolation, and more. These feelings are all normal, and very expected of someone who is grieving a terrible loss. Do not try and shove your emotions to the side and ignore them. Instead, talk to a trusted therapist, friend, or family member about what you are going through. Do whatever you need to do to tackle those feelings head on. God wants to you come out of this stronger than you were before, but that cannot happen if you don't accept the feelings you are having.
You can forgive yourself, as I will forgive you.
Along with God always loving you, God will also always forgive you. If you feel that your abortion went against your most sacred beliefs, know that Jesus Christ is ready to accept your apology and wrap His loving arms around you. He does not want you wading through this earth carrying a huge amount of weight and stress on your back. Let Jesus take that burden off of you.
Jesus also wants you to eventually learn how to forgive yourself. Eventually, you must learn to let it go and not keep punishing yourself for your choices. God is rich in mercy. You will feel a huge sense of relief because He can help set you free from the pain and regret.
Having an abortion is not an easy choice, and God does not doubt that it was a painful one for you to make. If you eventually realized you made the wrong choice for you, know that you are not alone and that God still loves you. There are great resources out there that can help you cope through this pain and suffering. Jesus will be by your side through each step of it.