If you grew up in a Christian household, you were probably taught that abstinence was the right thing to do if you wanted to live a godly life. You may have even stood in front of the church and taken a pledge of abstinence before others. Modern-day society has challenged the way many of us look at sex. Our culture is sex-obsessed, and terms like chastity and purity simply sound outdated. This crisis has led many people to make sex their idol. This is not only harmful to your relationship with your partner and future spouse, but it is also harmful to your relationship with God as it separates you from Him. Here are five signs sex is your idol.
You Place Sex at the Center of Your Relationship
A major sign that sex is an idol is when it is at the center of your relationship. Big indicators of this are constantly wanting and thinking about sex with your partner. You’re unhappy when you’re not having it and find little pleasure outside of it in your relationship. This is very unhealthy and shows that something major is missing from the relationship you have. If you and your partner don’t connect outside of sex, sex may be playing an unhealthy role in your relationship.
You Are Obsessed With Sex
Another big sign that sex is an idol is when you’re obsessed with it. You don’t think about how a person will sexually satisfy you over them, satisfying you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Those things may not even be on your radar. Instead of leading the relationship with getting to know that person, you lead with sex. You don’t get to know a person because you’re thinking about the future, but because you’re looking for temporary pleasure. This is not good for your well-being and will harm you in the long run. Again, relationships should not be built on a foundation of sex.
You Have Multiple Partners
When sex is your idol, you set yourself up for all types of trouble. You become obsessed with the joy, attention, and thrill you get from having sex. You may even seek multiple partners because you can’t shake the feeling you get. We live in a society that teaches that sex is for fun and pleasure, and it doesn’t need to be confined to a committed marriage. The media and popular culture tell us that it’s ok to sleep with as many people as we want, and this will help us determine if that person is, in fact, valuable to us. We can have sex with someone, and it does not mean anything more than that. When you think this way, you may end up in and out of different relationships constantly. The problem with this is you get lost in the world, and the people you seek become the idols. You will start to lack focus. When this happens, your relationship with God suffers a great deal. If you want to pull away from this idol, it’s important to turn and cling to God, who can heal us.
Porn addiction has become a reality in so many relationships. It has also become an idol to so many people because of its addictive nature. One of the reasons it is so sinister is that people who watch it think it is harmless and does not hurt anyone. Regardless of how much time you spend watching it, it can impact the relationships you have with others, especially the person you’ve c omitted your life to. Your partner may not know you are viewing it, but it can still damage your relationship. The more you watch it, the more you feel dissatisfied with your relationship. People also think that viewing porn isn’t a form of infidelity, but it is. If prolonged, you will start seeing it show up in your relationship. Big signs that porn has become your idol is when it begins leading to inappropriate thoughts, visualizing yourself with another partner, fantasizing about sleeping with others, and beginning to feel disconnected from your partner sexually.
We Forget About Marriage
Too often, when we are obsessed with sex, we lose sight of finding a good partner. We let go of Mr. or Mrs. Right for the person we think can fulfill our sexual needs, if only for a short period. We worship that idea of finding a partner that satisfies us that we forget about the person who will help us focus on God. Instead of worshipping sex, or the idea of a sexually satisfying partner, you should be focused on building the strongest relationship possible with your partner and with God. When we take the time to let go and focus less on sex, God will give us the space to focus on the right things. Knowing if a person is good for us shouldn’t be contingent on sex. It is one of the most important decisions you will make. The great thing is that God can and will direct our steps. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A person plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” God is capable and willing to point us in the direction we need to be going in.
Sex should never be the main focus in your life or in your relationship. If it is guiding or dictating the decisions you’re making, it can negatively impact your relationships and the prospect of marriage. This is not what God hopes or intends for your life. Remember, love should be at the center of any relationship we pursue. The right relationship will come when we’re patient, and we trust the guidance God offers us. Call on God and ask Him if the person you’re talking to is God-willed. Instead of leading with and worshipping sex, worship God, and all things will fall into place.