War struck in the second week of the Sleaze-o-Meter, in which we rank the reality TV shows' moral depravity. "All-American Girl" and "Are You Hot?" were pre-empted by the reality show broadcasting from Kuwait City, while MTV's Greek shows were shown only on the West Coast.
The shows that did air, however, more than made up for the lost episodes. On a scale of one to five showerheads--reflecting how desperately we wanted to take a shower after watching--a show earned the top score for the first time: The Real World: Las Vegas, which took the week.
Read Sleaze-0-Meter's debut week by clicking here.
Alton and Irulan get busy in the Confessional--tape running!--but that doesn't stop Alton from giving a dancer his number later, using Irulan's pen! Frank calls a pair of Hooters waitresses "skanks,"--fair enough, only one's his date. Steven tells Trishelle the sex is fine, but he doesn't think they have a future--mere weeks after her pregnancy scare.
Taking our showerheads to heart, Billie Jeanne and Tony consummate their betrothal in the bathroom. Touchingly, too, turns out they share a love for porn. Host Sean Valentine uses his deep, serious voice to ask the couples, "Now's the time to honestly look at your relationship and ask, 'Am I doing everything I can to make this work?'" Does he mean love or the show?
Co-ed "monkey grooming" and the communal bath made us feel plain dirty, and even with the men groaning, not the good kind of dirty. Swimsuit model Jenna brilliantly summed up the state of play: "If a bikini helps me go further in the game, then, whatever."
Aunt Donna's treachery runs as deep as George Hamilton's tan. She cuts cousin Maria out of the money, when it was her son Anthony's number that was up. Anthony admits to female massage therapist that he's done "videos."
When Maggie says Brooke lacks house spirit because she won't take part in a wacky prank against the "Fraternity Life" house, their showdown almost ends in blows. Best line: Maggie's spiteful "I¹m never bonding with you again!" Promises. Promises.
Reality itself intruded this week, as the University of Buffalo suspended Sigma Chi Omega on allegations of hazing. Good for two showerheads in a week in which we got to see Alex lamely resubmit to his girlfriend.